As I read various threads today - I see that many have no idea what misogyny really is. Today, it seems easier to focus on pronouns rather than real issues - and this path will only lead to reversal of hard won battles by true advocates of women's rights. That path is misogyny.
Initial fights were for the right to vote, the ability to take part in the political process, equal protections under the justice system, and the ability to have equal access to a variety of opportunities. This includes the establishment of a category for female sport.
Somewhere along the way - that fight for equality has been hijacked by people that haven't a clue what it feels like to caught up in a truly unequal situation. At 28, I had no barriers to my entry to the military here in Canada, but I had to compete based on merit to get in.
I had my choice of university, based on scholarships attained through hard work. I chose engineering and sciences, and I competed for entry based on my merit. I did this first in 1990 as a young Metis woman based in rural MB. I had no barriers to entry.
Women do face barriers in society - but its not about pronouns or the "patriarchy". It is often economic barriers that we face, access to funds for business start ups, social supports that let us pursue a career throughout motherhood, access to affordable housing etc.
As a woman that started a construction company from scratch, I can describe all kinds of instances of discrimination based on gender, and barriers to entry. I entered construction at the bottom, as a admin assistant, and I worked my ass of to advance through the ranks.
It was my competence in the work, and willingness to work long hours in the field which brought me into a similar wage bracket as male colleagues, but I saw bias for sure. Man or woman, if you want something, you have to do the work for it. Success does not come from entitlement.
Through real life experience, navigating divorce, property rights - I learned how much things have advanced. And when things got bad through a divorce, and I entered a shelter at one point with my sons, I was happy to find it a safe place where I was protected at every level.
Through the Jus system, I had (more than) equal rights to my children, limited access to property and bank accounts. In Canada and the US, our fight this past decade was about the economic barriers. We had already won so many battles - but the intro of outside policy is changing.
The battles won through guaranteed sex-based rights is being usurped, and once the first block falls, it will all cascade with catastrophic results for our western society. Until this point, as a woman (and an indigenous one), my equal access to opportunity was pretty good.
Feminism should never denigrate any member of our society - it should empower women to continue to fight for equality (NOT EQUITY), and to continue to advance through every path we may choose. I learned that concept in the CDN military. It should fight for women in all places.
In 1991 - my first marriage was to a Muslim foreign student. I changed who I was to show him respect, his faith respect, and I chose to wear a head scarf at different times. It was when the respect was not mutually returned that I stopped wearing it. I felt like I had bottled me.
I learned from Muslim friends how a faith could be beautiful, and how it could be ugly. Like any other faith. I saw a line of extremism even in 1991 emerging. There are two worlds of the faith. That experience shaped how I view the rights of women in a fundamental way.
In Canada, I had a choice to not wear a head scarf, and a choice to divorce, and a choice to follow my own faith separate from my husband's. I want those choices to remain for all women. My experience strengthened my resolve to serve in the military, to follow my own destiny.
And it showed me that feminism can be so much more. Who knows? But, I have learned that there are many women out there, with feelings and experiences similar that are saying the same thing - feminism cannot be about denigration. It has to be about hope in finding a better way.
@threadreaderapp please unroll
