Thread by @JSchanzer

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the region
Not a creature was stirring,
but Iran’s foreign legion;

The rockets they placed
throughout Syria with care,
In hopes that the Quds Force
soon would be there;

The weapons were nestled
all snug in their places,
While visions of war
put grins on their faces;

As Assad’s bombs burst
with a terrible clap,
The U.N. settles in
for a long winter's nap.

The war grinds on,
Russia spreads more confusion,
But it is usually not news unless there’s talk of collusion.

Then, once again, Trump says:
“Syria withdrawal!”
All it took for Turkey
was one simple call.

Then who to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Qassem Suleimani
from the Republic of Fear.

With his IRGC guards,
so lively and quick,
I knew at that moment
he must be that prick.

He was dressed all in olive,
from his head to his foot,
His clothes were all covered with ashes and soot;

A bundle of weapons
he brings in his sack,
He’s a peddler of death,
and remorse he does lack.

His eyes -- how they twinkle!
his smile, how sly!
He takes selfies with fighters, and he knows they will die.

The land he controls,
it continues to grow,
His closely-cropped beard
is as white as the snow;

To fight for the regime,
one by one they all came.
He whistled, and shouted,
and called them by name;

"Now, Hezbollah! Now, Hamas!
Now, Shiite militias!
Those Mahan air flights
are so damn suspicious!

To the border with Israel!
Through tunnels we’ll crawl!
We can also hit Saudi!
Bombs away all!"

The refugees shiver
amidst new-fallen snow,
The Levantine land bridge,
it continues to grow.

Qassem’s plan
is as clear as can be
It’s precision munitions
But there’s nothing to see.

It’s all underground,
It’s all out of sight,
Human shields will get hit,
and Iran gets off light.

It’s Christmas tomorrow.
Few will talk of this plight, so...
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,
AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!