One night in college I unknowingly dropped my crush off for her dck appointment. A brief thread in C minor
As a freshman in college, i had a car. (raggedy car) but still a car. A freshman on campus w/ a car gets you attention. I had a crush on a girl in my english class...
As a freshman in college, i had a car. (raggedy car) but still a car. A freshman on campus w/ a car gets you attention. I had a crush on a girl in my english class...
Group work was assigned and because she was in my group we all had to exchange numbers. One night out the blue, she called and asked for a ride to the grocery store. I knew this would be my only chance to impress her so I had to turned on the charm.
So I ironed my best Polo CHAPS Shirt. (It was ‘96) and some matching Tommy Jeans. Splashed on some Cool Water Cologne (6 Sprays) just to give a woman a ride to Winn-Dixie.
As I pull up to her dorm, I pop in the Dru Hill cassette and play it a low volume
As I pull up to her dorm, I pop in the Dru Hill cassette and play it a low volume
She hops in and the usual chit chat ensues. I can tell I’m not breaking through but I’m also not losing ground.
She runs in the store and comes back with 2-3 bags. on the way back to campus she said "Don't take me back to campus, drop me off at my homegirl's house"
She runs in the store and comes back with 2-3 bags. on the way back to campus she said "Don't take me back to campus, drop me off at my homegirl's house"
the spot was about 20 mins out the way but I figured it’d be more talk time. We get to the townhouse and on the front porch is a dude sitting there. I pulled in the driveway and buddy stood up like I was bringing the pizza he'd been waiting on. He was better dressed than me
He was in Girbaud head to toe. None of that Polo Chaps bullsht. she mumbled a quick "thank you" and hopped out. As she walks up he took off his wave cap and unleashed the most gorgeous waves I’d ever seen. They were flowing like Bone Thugs hair in 1st of Tha Month video
I still hadn’t put it together. All I thought was, “Kinda odd a dude greeting at her”. So I head back to the dorm. two hours later same girl calls me asking me to pick her up. YES!re-ironed my Chaps & Tommy Jeans. two sprays of Cool Water & dipped in a hurry like Chicago FD
I get to townhouse, she walks out, stepping out behind her is Brother Girbaud. Only now he’s in his draws. No shirt, no socks. Just boxer briefs. And In the front of the boxers is that “post-sex dick drip” wet spot. There was no denying now. A single tear fell onto my CHAPS sweat 
Understand, boxer briefs were the grey sweatpants of the 90s. If a dude was wearing those, it’s was to slang meat. She gave Girbaud a kiss on the cheek and ran off to her waiting simp mobile. As I pulled off he gave a wave like the mom the end of the Sweet Pickles commercial.
I was heated but what could I do? Leave her with no ride? No buses in Tallahassee this late. AND She’s in my group l. I needed a good grade in English to switch majors to Journalism. We rode back to Campus in complete silence with only the sounds of Dru Hill filling the silence.
The funniest part of it all is she left the groceries at his crib!! THEY WERE FOR HIM THE WHOLE TIME! I was UberEats AND Lyft all in the same damn night. In her embarrassment she flaked on all the group meetings and we got a C.
To this day I can’t listen to Dru Hill without thinking about a grown man with a wet spot in his draws waving at me as I drive off with the woman he just laid.
Pimp-C would be so disappointed it me.
It’s also the last time I ever wore Cool Water Cologne.
Fin.
Pimp-C would be so disappointed it me.
It’s also the last time I ever wore Cool Water Cologne.
Fin.
