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Filia came out to us after a 6 month secret social transition at school. In that time, she'd asked for gender non-conforming clothing and hair and we had supported her self-expression.
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but I did explain to her that what we noticed was that she had finally opened up about being dishonest with us, and that dishonesty was very uncharacteristic for her personality.
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to many months of choosing to fictionalize parts of her personal narrative and conceal from both her parents and her therapist.
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Finally establishing a relationship with a new therapist was the key to stop the relational unraveling - we were able to trust her psychologist to work around
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I had completed both the educational and parenting versions of this program boystown.org/parenting/Page…
designed to create developmentally appropriate expectations and troubleshoot interpersonal challenges
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When Filia came to us midsummer of '18, she described becoming questioning over the course of her 6th grade year ('16-'17). This coincided with two things: her school launching its GSA, and her becoming intensely interested in creative writing.
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That modest bit of progress coincided with events that unfolded around her birthday - a confluence of events that created an opportunity to have a frank discussion with Filia
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-reflective listening. Paraphrasing things back to her to make sure I actually...
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-often asking if she wants to know what I think, b/c sometimes she might want to inform us about something but not necessarily want to internally deal with our opinion about it.
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Even when we've acquired the language, it seems we still require relational cues to notice and process our emotions.