Today’s edition of #RealStoriesFromTheRabbinicCourt:
No one should have to “earn” their freedom by suffering violence. That the rabbinic court—essentially, the state—is using its authority to perpetuate this is violence on an institutionalized scale.
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No one should have to “earn” their freedom by suffering violence. That the rabbinic court—essentially, the state—is using its authority to perpetuate this is violence on an institutionalized scale.
Thread:
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A woman flees home following a violent outburst by her husband and his threat to murder her. She requests a divorce. The rabbinic court rules: This is only the first incidence of violence and therefore, she has no grounds for divorce.
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A quote from the rabbinic court’s ruling: “The husband threw an object at the woman and used an expression that frightened the woman when he said that he would ‘dig her grave.’ As a result of the incident, the woman left the home and did not return… >>
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>> "Criminal proceedings were brought against him regarding his words and his breaking objects, and he was ordered to do community service…. In regard to this matter, the incident was not violent since the object he threw at her did not hit her; >>
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>> "she interpreted his words in a threatening way, but the husband claims that this was not his intention. In any event, in accordance with the above, we cannot order a divorce on the basis of such a statement on its own.”
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The rabbinic court goes on to explain the reasoning behind the husband’s behavior:
“The husband’s faulty behavior was an expression of deep pain about his wife leaving the home, which, while done in a negative way, does not mean that the husband does not want his wife; >>
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“The husband’s faulty behavior was an expression of deep pain about his wife leaving the home, which, while done in a negative way, does not mean that the husband does not want his wife; >>
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>> "rather, the wife is the one whose actions expressed that she does not want her husband, and these actions brought her to file for divorce a few months after.”
The rab. court adds that the woman will not be entitled to her ketubah, since she was the one who chose to leave.
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The rab. court adds that the woman will not be entitled to her ketubah, since she was the one who chose to leave.
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Last week, two women in Israel were murdered in separate cases of domestic violence.
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We wonder: if the rabbinic court does not consider the first violent incident sufficient, what is the “proper” quota of violence women must fill in order to earn their freedom?
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Should women dodge their husbands’ blows or get hit so the rabbinic court will allow them to leave the situation? Should we be relieved when women walk away safely from abusive men or should we financially penalize them for “ruining the marriage?”
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These are matters of life and death. Israel’s rabbinic court: you are part of the problem.
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