Today's edition of #RealStoriesFromTheRabbinicCourt:
There are so many questions here--ethical, moral, religious, legal. But even without all of those, the cruelty and disregard for this woman and her agency over her own life is just shocking. @cwjisrael
Thread:
1/
There are so many questions here--ethical, moral, religious, legal. But even without all of those, the cruelty and disregard for this woman and her agency over her own life is just shocking. @cwjisrael
Thread:
1/
@cwjisrael 2/
A woman came into our @cwjisrael office with an ultimatum given to her by her estranged husband, who has been refusing to give her a get (Jewish bill of divorce) for the past two years.
What price has he set for her freedom?
A woman came into our @cwjisrael office with an ultimatum given to her by her estranged husband, who has been refusing to give her a get (Jewish bill of divorce) for the past two years.
What price has he set for her freedom?
@cwjisrael 3/
The couple had undergone some IVF cycles in the past, and the woman had had severe, life-threatening reactions to the treatments. One frozen embryo remained in storage after the process.
The couple had undergone some IVF cycles in the past, and the woman had had severe, life-threatening reactions to the treatments. One frozen embryo remained in storage after the process.
@cwjisrael 4/
I won’t give you a get, the husband declared, unless you either undergo fertility treatments again to get pregnant with this embryo, or, alternatively, let me have the embryo to take to a surrogate. In other words: have a child with your abuser or stay married to him forever.
I won’t give you a get, the husband declared, unless you either undergo fertility treatments again to get pregnant with this embryo, or, alternatively, let me have the embryo to take to a surrogate. In other words: have a child with your abuser or stay married to him forever.
@cwjisrael 5/
How did the Rabbinic Court respond?
They ruled that the woman did not have to be impregnated against her will (how generous of them...?) and that legally, her consent would be needed for any use of their embryo. HOWEVER:
How did the Rabbinic Court respond?
They ruled that the woman did not have to be impregnated against her will (how generous of them...?) and that legally, her consent would be needed for any use of their embryo. HOWEVER:
@cwjisrael 6/
Instead of telling the husband to give a get, or that his extortion was unacceptable, or that no one should be forced to become a parent against their will, the Rabbinic Court judges pressured the woman to consent to the husband’s demands to use the embryo via surrogacy.
Instead of telling the husband to give a get, or that his extortion was unacceptable, or that no one should be forced to become a parent against their will, the Rabbinic Court judges pressured the woman to consent to the husband’s demands to use the embryo via surrogacy.
@cwjisrael 7/
A get must be given of the man’s free will in order to be considered totally kosher. In order to be sure the husband is truly willing, the Rabbinic Court encourages the wife to satisfy whatever demands he makes. Never mind that here, satisfying his will means violating hers.
A get must be given of the man’s free will in order to be considered totally kosher. In order to be sure the husband is truly willing, the Rabbinic Court encourages the wife to satisfy whatever demands he makes. Never mind that here, satisfying his will means violating hers.
@cwjisrael 8/
By now, the woman was 42 and her biological clock was ticking loudly. If she ever wanted to remarry and have children from a new relationship—by choice, with a man she loved—she needed her get, fast. By Jewish & Israeli law, she cannot remarry nor have children without a get.
By now, the woman was 42 and her biological clock was ticking loudly. If she ever wanted to remarry and have children from a new relationship—by choice, with a man she loved—she needed her get, fast. By Jewish & Israeli law, she cannot remarry nor have children without a get.
@cwjisrael 9/
It is a classic exhibit of abusive control. Her estranged husband made it clear: you'll have a child with me, or you'll never have children with anyone.
It is a classic exhibit of abusive control. Her estranged husband made it clear: you'll have a child with me, or you'll never have children with anyone.
@cwjisrael 10/
Desperate for her freedom, she capitulated to the Rabbinic Court and to her husband, and agreed to the surrogate in exchange for her get.
But the story doesn’t end there.
Desperate for her freedom, she capitulated to the Rabbinic Court and to her husband, and agreed to the surrogate in exchange for her get.
But the story doesn’t end there.
@cwjisrael 11/
Even after she signed all documents necessary to give her husband permission to use their frozen embryo, the Rabbinic Court *still* would not obligate the husband to give a get.
Even after she signed all documents necessary to give her husband permission to use their frozen embryo, the Rabbinic Court *still* would not obligate the husband to give a get.
@cwjisrael 12/
Yesterday, the R.Court sent a message with a date for the get but included an explicit option for the man to opt out: “An appointment for arranging a get has been scheduled. If the husband & his lawyer feel otherwise, they are requested to notify the R.Court in that regard.”
Yesterday, the R.Court sent a message with a date for the get but included an explicit option for the man to opt out: “An appointment for arranging a get has been scheduled. If the husband & his lawyer feel otherwise, they are requested to notify the R.Court in that regard.”
@cwjisrael 13/13
As the appointment draws near, will the husband back out and continue to refuse a get? Will he up the ante and ask for more in exchange for the get, just because he can?
As long as women’s freedom is not a right, but rather a bargaining chip, will we ever be truly free?
As the appointment draws near, will the husband back out and continue to refuse a get? Will he up the ante and ask for more in exchange for the get, just because he can?
As long as women’s freedom is not a right, but rather a bargaining chip, will we ever be truly free?
@cwjisrael Post script:
14/ Based on precedents here in Israel––specifically the Nachmani case in the 1990s––there are already laws on the books that delineate a couple's legal rights to the embryos upon divorce (or in cases where the couple is not married).
14/ Based on precedents here in Israel––specifically the Nachmani case in the 1990s––there are already laws on the books that delineate a couple's legal rights to the embryos upon divorce (or in cases where the couple is not married).
@cwjisrael 15/ Even in this case here, the Rabbinic Court acknowledged in their initial ruling that neither party had ownership over the frozen embryos.
All of this, however, goes out the window when get refusal is involved.
All of this, however, goes out the window when get refusal is involved.
@cwjisrael 16/ In cases of get refusal, the man demands whatever conditions he wants in exchange for the get--usually, these demands are for things he is specifically *not* entitled to by law (otherwise, he could simply obtain them legally rather than resorting to extortion!).
@cwjisrael 17/ The rabbinic court, wanting to ensure a kosher get, often goes along with the extortion & encourages the woman to capitulate, disregarding what the law says. So this is not about a legal lacuna. It's about the rabbinic courts operating on a different set of standards entirely
