Thread by @GbengaWemimo

Good afternoon Brother Gbenga, I saw your thread this morning. The one on the guy who ran away with the bestie. I wanted to engage the thread directly but I felt it would be better to reach out to you and tell the story the right way. I wii try not to be right or wrong, I promise

I was two years older than him. I am not a child! I know ladies are way more mature than men and it wasn’t my desire to miss out on marrying right. So when he came at me with all the marry me stuff, I said No! I insisted he must never talk about it again. We can only be friends!

He agreed!
We met in Germany! My father was in the US Army for many years and he was stationed in Germany, working with NATO forces! That was how he met my mother and how they had me! My mother was a beneficiary of a scholarship grant in Germany at the time but she was a lecturer

With a Nigerian university too!
His father was also in the Army! It was the Nigerian church that we all attend in Germany! It was his mother’s death that brought us together! He loved me from the moment we met! He took to me as a source of comfort and I gave him a reason to live

When he got back on his feet, his father decided he had to return to Nigeria in order to have friends and family members around him! His father was still in the Army and was going on tour to Afghanistan! That was how he returned to Nigeria to study and live with his mother’s folk

I was the only constant in his life!
Helping him cope!
I was in love with him, I didn’t know this immediately but at a point I realized he was always in my conscious and subconscious thoughts! When I had other suitors, I realized I was impatient with them because I deliberately

Created space for him and didn’t want him to become unsettled if he saw me with somebody else!
I had no doubt that he loved me!
I was only hopeful that he would meet a girl and get married!
That way, I would know someone else is responsible for him while I move on with my life!

Then he met this lady!
He really liked her and he told me so!
I was happy for him because I had someone else asking me out too!
Then this lady told him to lock me out, shut me out! Wind things down! Destroy our thirteen years friendship! Because she was Queen Conan the Barbarian!

Who was she?
Was I not the one that encouraged him to pursue her and give her whatever it took to convince her of his love? I was part of the process! The gifts and the lyrics! I was the sounding board he bounced his ideas through before delivering them to her! I was the X factor

She was so graceless!
Sometimes he would call me on hidden number because she would pick his phone and check his call logs to monitor his calls to me!
At a point he stopped calli NV all together!
Because she asked him!
Because he wanted to please me and make it work at all cost!

He was miserable without me
I was miserable without him
Perhaps we could have coped if she allowed us access to each other and didn’t act all toxic!
I knew he was making a mistake but when I tried telling him that on the phone he said “Neither of us will move on” if we both keep

Seeing fault in other people that we got involved with romantically!
I realized he was determined to marry her
Not because he loved her
But because he wants me to be free to pursue other love interests too!
So I came home to support him as the wedding day drew close!
I got to

Lagos before I calle him!
He came around to see me at the hotel!
As soon as we saw each other, we couldn’t stop crying!
He hugged me
He kissed me his tears was running all over me!
We were soulmates
It was obvious
He kissed me
I kissed him back
It was like detonating a bomb!

We made love!
Afterward, he said he wanted to marry me!
I still wasn’t too sure!
I told him I will spend a week with him to get “US” out of his system and return to Germany!
He will still marry his wife knowing he got to sleep with me before the vows and technically didn’t cheat

On her!
He accepted
We went to Abuja
He was with me
But it wasn’t enough for either of us!
We couldn’t let each other go
So we decided to get married
Why do we have to lie to each other?
Why allow his “bride” marry him knowing he was in love with someone else?
She really dodged

A bullet!
And she should be grateful!
The damage done was not irreparable and there was no attempt to hoodwink her and make her feel like she was dumped because she wasn’t good enough!
We were decent that way!
We both thought about what to write to explain to her what happened

We couldn’t come up with anything reasonable!
Love happened
Life happened
Of course she wouldn’t get it!
Nobody playing or forming victim ever does
But he wasn’t her man and it wasn’t meant to be!
That’s all there is to this issue!
And we left everything behind, even some cash

Meant for the wedding!
He didn’t have the heart to go back for material things
I get that
His stay here was a temporary season
His life was always in Germany and with me!
Everybody should understand that!
Right?
So why pretend it wasn’t for the best?
Would she have preferred to

Marry him when he obviously doesn’t love her enough?
I insist that she should be grateful she wasn’t trapped in a marriage with a man who loves another woman
By the way, I was the one who told him to introduce your website to her!
I was always the one his heart bled for, not her!

Ps:
There is a love that reflects,
There is a love that is reflected
There is also a love that ponders
There is a love that is pondered
There is a love that is manufactured
There is a love that is natural
The things that are made are temporal, but the things unmade are eternal