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I'm sick AND menstrual so you bet your ass I'm covered in heating pads and watching The Knight Before Christmas BABEY
Oh. Bejabbers
This movie is incredible. Vanessa Hudgens and the Time Travelling Himbo. I couldn't love this more than I do now and that isn't the 'Quil talking
I cannot possibly oversell how excellent it is when the Time Traveling Christmas Himbo does a mean impersonation of contemporary American speech
I'M FUCKIMG DYING

THE KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS SAID TRANS RIGHTS
Didnt see the "cops are like knights of the modern world" turn coming in this movie but in this world there is literally only one cop and he seems to function mostly to affirm the Time Traveling Christmas Himbo so I'll allow it
The Christmas Himbo wants to cut off a child's hands. I have literally no idea what will happen next in this movie. It is a perfect mystery
Great news! He, a 14th-century knight, has never ever been to a dentist
Anachronisms? IN THE NETFLIX ORIGINAL CHRISTMAS FILM A KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS?? I nEVER

The Christmas Himbo wants to either become a cop (😬) or open his own bakery. If that bakery doesnt compete with the bakery from PRINCESS SWITCH in the crossover sequel I am going to RIOT
Okay THE KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS is (1) perfect and (2) unconcerned with things like logic and reality and I love it with my whole heart
If you have watched THE KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS I desperately want your theories about where the puppy came from. I choose to believe that the niece gained Snow Child Powers when she got lost in the blizzard and now has the power to shape reality in her image
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Sarah Gailey
@gaileyfrey
I am a well-documented Halloween Grinch which makes this time of year a little tricky to navigate but yesterday I figured out a LIFE HACK to have a great time at the pumpkin patch in spite of all the Ambient Halloween
I will not explain why I hate Halloween here because I have already said everything I need to say (link below)

anyway yesterday I went on a quest for THE MOST FUCKED-UP PUMPKIN AT THE PUMPKIN PATCH and BOY DID THE PUMPKIN PATCH DELIVER

mailchi.mp/15acedc302c1/h…]
I'm sorry Mr. Bones but this thread is about to be pretty disrespectful to the pumpkins
Read 20 tweets
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Sarah Gailey
@gaileyfrey
Next to me in this bar a very drunk woman is making FIRM plans to start waking up at 5:30 every morning, in case you wondered what a prologue to regret sounds like
DONT worry guys she just said she's got some "herbal potassium" that'll make waking up at 5:30 tomorrow a snap

My shameless eavesdropping has paid off

Potassium lady is on a date with a blandly awful dude and, with the impossible grace of the inebriated, she just turned a shitty date into a JOB INTERVIEW
Read 16 tweets
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Sarah Gailey
@gaileyfrey
not to start a controversy on the TL but puffins are fuckin great
Look at this shit. Carrying several fish at a time in their mouth because they've got a fancy hinged beak that makes it so they can. Bringing those fish HOME for EVERYONE to enjoy. That's how a puffin does it babey
This is me if I somehow fuck up the angle when I'm parallel parking

Read 14 tweets

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Dr Eleanor Janega
@GoingMedieval
Ya good bitches are watching A Knight Before Christmas. We are already yelling at it ten seconds in.
This MFer named Cole.
They think hawking is hunting... hawks?
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Amy @panikiskiaq
@IndigenousXca
I was born in Newfoundland in 1998. No such thing as Qalipu FN at that point. When Nfld joined confederation in 1949, premier Joey Smallwood declared there was no Indians there and yadda yadda. It took 2/3 generations of fighting for recognition for Qalipu FN to become a thing.
HOWEVER the conditions of recognition for Mi’kmaq in Nfld were all like “y’all gotta amalgamate into one giant band also y’all gotta be landless” and everyone at the time was like WOW what could possibly go wrong??
So eventually at some point as a child I got band membership and Indian Status and whatnot, hooray. But when they received a few too many applications (remember how they made every unrecognized band in Nfld join into one) they were like holy shit, this is way too many Injuns.
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John Vercher
@jverch75
Though I’ve followed the storylines, other than some random trades, I haven’t bought a new comic book in ages. I had all the excuses: it was an expensive habit. Where would I jump back in after all this time?
My oldest son has become obsessed with drawing as of late—an obsession his old man had when he was a kid, spurred by my love of comics. After our 100th viewing of Into the Spider-Verse (wit many more viewings to come—that movie is incredible.), I decided it was time to head to
the comics shop. He ooh-ed and ahh-ed his way through the store, eventually finding his way to the toys and t-shirts with his little brother and Mom. While they explored, I stood in front of one of the shelves of newer releases, overcome by a familiar feeling—and a new one that
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Prof Tanja Bueltmann
@cliodiaspora
Looks like the #Christmas spirit is waning ....
Strikes me I need to explain this again. When I sometimes choose to share what I get I do that *not* because
- I need an apology
- I need someone to tell me what to do
- I need someone to talk about gammon (this I need least of all: it’s never helpful...be better than that) PS1/
The reason I sometimes choose to share what I get is simply that: to share it. It annoys me that I should be the only one having to see this all the time, so I sometimes (very rarely in the big scheme of things) choose to document this publicly. That’s all. PS2/2
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Travis Johnson
@travispjohnson
#DieHard Before #Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Except the 4 assholes coming in the rear in standard 2x2 cover formation.
The C4 was placed in the roof with care,
In the hopes that the Feds soon would be there,
The terrorists held positions awaiting the Feds,
While visions of bearer bonds danced in their heads.
And Holly in her rolex, Ellis powdered his nose,
While I was barefoot and made fists with my toes.
When out from the lobby there arose such a clatter,
I drew my gun to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairwell I flew with a flash,
Forgetting shoes, up the stairs did I dash.
I pulled the alarm on this occasion
And vowed to kiss the department Dalmatian
When what to my dismay should appear
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PolarbearsAreCool!
@SimonClaydon
#THREAD
We will be at war with NKorea before #Christmas!
#Trump is putting the final pieces in place before he goes for all out War 1/
2/ I have said previously that whatever #China & #Russia's response to a #USA attack on #NKorea, it would be unified. That why he's in #Asia
3/ He's making the rounds, laying the ground work. First stop #Japan & promises of protection from #Nkorea's nukes.
Read 32 tweets

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