Profile picture
, 13 tweets, 2 min read
My Authors
Read all threads
"'Garfield' actor Bill Murray..."
Actually, this could be a very fun game to pass the time today: imagine you're the NYDN weirdly describing a talented actor with a long resume by their worst or most forgettable role.

"Little Fockers" actor Robert De Niro...
"Cruising" actor Al Pacino...
"Perfect" actor John Travolta...
"Ewoks: The Battle For Endor" actor Wilford Brimley...
"Bosom Buddies" star Tom Hanks has tested positive for...

(h/t @Neoavatara)
BREAKING NEWS: "Super Mario Brothers" star John Leguizamo has announced that...
One guy it's actually sort of hard to do this for is Christian Bale. Guy picks his roles well.
You can even do this for directors: "Ridley Scott, director of SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME, released a statement today saying that..."
Tom Cruise, star of "Legend," has withdrawn from the production of his most recent film due to...
George Clooney, primarily known for his work in "The Facts Of Life," has announced he is self-quarantining due to...
"Max von Sydow, known for his work in STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS, recently passed away..."
(the depressing thing is that I'm fairly sure that some site somewhere actually wrote this one up that way.)
"The world tonight is in mourning as news of the death of Sir Paul McCartney, who achieved prominence with his starring role in the film GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROAD STREET, was reported by the press..."
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Enjoying this thread?

Keep Current with Esoteric Jeff

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @EsotericCD see all

Profile picture
Esoteric Jeff
@EsotericCD
I probably like Michael Bloomberg far less than you (dude is currently my school's most famous alum, man that hurts), but the behavior of the people in this piece are bragging about reveals them as faithless weasels, not 'cool rebel dudes.' thenation.com/article/politi…
How laudable, to take a generous paycheck from an employer and then *intentionally* subvert them and neglect your duties. So much rebel! So much professional!
deeply amused that I'm suddenly getting rose-twitter pushback on these tweets arguing "no, let's steal money under false pretenses!"

no offense zoomer failures: this is why you don't win genuinely contested elections. biden has a mind like lukewarm soup and he's gonna be the guy
Read 6 tweets
Profile picture
Esoteric Jeff
@EsotericCD
Warren's campaign flameout was, as they say, 'overdetermined': there are multiple reasons, each of which would have been sufficient in themselves, for why she lost, and lost so badly. So here's a fun list of them! 1/
1) Her lane was blocked. The obvious answer. Despite her claiming she wasn't going to run a "lane" primary campaign, the fact is that she was most closely identified w/a slightly more upscale version of the Bernie wing of the party, and, well, Bernie has most of that locked up.
This was most obvious during debates, where she went out of her way to 'hug' Sanders, even defending him against attacks. Most she could bring herself to do was mild criticism about Bernie's lack of substantive achievement. You see how well that strategy worked v. Trump in 2016.
Read 16 tweets
Profile picture
Esoteric Jeff
@EsotericCD
You got 1st place in a high school science fair, for God's sake.
(I'm dead serious, this is what she means when she says she was honored by MIT & Lincoln Lab for achievements in "microbiology." She won a science fair. This is some truly legendary resume-puffing.)
It turns out I was wrong: she didn't get 1st place in the high school science fair, she got 2nd place.

I regret the misinformation.
Read 3 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
ProfessorCirno
@ProfessorCirno
Ok enough politics lets talk more tabletop gaming dumbfuckery!!!!!

D&D IS BA- ok no it's not just that, but instead let's talk about about "old school" D&D and how it's actual heirs are found more in the indie games scene rather then both modern D&D and (most of) the OSR
"Old school" D&D is a lot of things, because it wasn't...I don't want to say it "wasn't written well" because *nothing* is made well in ANY hobby in it's formative years, and I'm trying to be generous. I'll instead say it was made scattershot.
See, the actual old white dudes who were making D&D largely had some weirdly specific ideas of what a game was, and then...didn't write those down. Instead, they just wrote rules to cover the shit they thought was needed to play the game their way (that they didn't teach)
Read 64 tweets
Profile picture
🎃 Frank Cifaldi's Links Are Spoopy 🎃
@frankcifaldi
For the first time on the internet, here's a from-emulator video of Super Gun, one of the rarest games for the original NES! We just helped to extract the data for this, but we had to find a REALLY weird workaround (thread):
Super Gun was released around 1992 as a standalone, commercial cartridge by a company called NTDEC. It even came in multiple variations: the 60-pin Famicom version here is the only one I can find a picture of, but there was also a 72-pin NES release in some places.
If you're familiar with the American library for the system you probably haven't heard of NTDEC, but maybe you HAVE heard of its short-lived American counterpart, Caltron? Its "unlicensed" 6-in-1 compilation is one of the hardest games in the set.
Read 15 tweets
Profile picture
Goo'd Vibes
@sxgoovibes
My first (eventual) NSFW thread on twitter, and of COURSE it’s #KiriBaku

Bakugo is Trans, Gay, and Horny. He’s also 23, a Pro Hero, and hasn’t gotten laid in four years.

Please QRT if you want to comment. Makes this easier on Bookmark users.

Here goes nothing!
Being horny is the worst! And if you pair that with being a Pro Hero who can’t go out and get laid on a whim because it might ruin your public image? Bakugo Katsuki is in absolute HELL right now because of that, and all he can do is deal with it later.
Like always. At home. In bed. Alone. Probably with his trusty sidekick.

His Hitachi.

He’s just horny though, it’s not even a problem!
Read 671 tweets
Profile picture
fani ღ
@kutekook
─ jikook au

「 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 」

➴ where jimin & jeongguk overhear how jimin’s boyfriend has been cheating on him & jeongguk wants to cheer him up but thing is... jimin can’t stand jeongguk
- this is my first au sooo
- ignore time stamps & all that
- sorry for any mistakes
jimin + jeongguk
Read 225 tweets
Profile picture
Miguel 🦑 Sternberg
@spookysquid
🎂🦑✨SPOOKY SQUID GAMES IS 10 YEARS OLD TODAY!✨🦑🎂
Andrew Pilkiw and I incorporated the studio on this day way back in 2009!

SSG retrospective thread incoming!
I think this photos was year or so after but here we are from around that time. Photo is by @PaulHillierdesu who's helped us out with photography and video a bunch over the last decade.
The first Spooky Squid game actually predates incorporation.
Night of the Cephalopods was created in the 2008 Artsty Games Incubator run by @JimMunro and was an experiment with live audio narration of action gameplay.

You can still download it free here: spookysquid.com/notc/
Read 108 tweets
Profile picture
кαт мιℓℓєя
@RubyWizard24
2019 GOALS, a thread:

- Take nothing for granted
- Adjust sleeping habits
- Fly somewhere
- Continue to manage anxiety
- Make concrete financial plans
- Return to exercise, focus on health
- Study #ASL
- Be a better friend
Jan 1st:

- Started off 2019 exactly the way I wanted to: doing a whole lot of not much
- Took care of myself, ate well, did some laundry
- Talked with a friend about finding inspiration in the everyday
- Saw my Mommy ❤️
- Off to bed with a good book #LethalWhite (still)
Jan 2nd:

- Had a terrible night of sleep thanks to melatonin dreams, which jump started an entire day of head and tummy aches 😣
- Cooked two delicious meals at home and indulged in some dessert
- Continued CBT with new therapist
- Bed by 10:30! 🙌🏻
Read 379 tweets

Trending hashtags

#Arab #Palestine #librarian #C59 #itsabouttime #DeepState #lifeisgood #CNN #Kashoggi #Khashoggi #GlobalSupport #AEI #Reuter #Ruby #Soros #FinancialCrash #Syria #Clinton #Assad #Rogue #Fiance #Merkel #NBC #Oil #Russia

Embed code for your website

×
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!