Thread by @HoarseWisperer

So, my mom hits me up with a problem: she needs to get into a locked filing cabinet which she no longer has the key for...

She has been searching for important docs for days, so I say “No problem, mom. I will McGyver the shit out of that lock.”

1/

So, I take to the interweb and commence an immersion on lock engineering. Tumblers. Spring-loading. All very complex.

What we had was your classic four-pin, you see.

I deduced that.

Like a freaking expert.

2/

Then I moved on to a quick tutorial on larceny.

I’d need a real thieves toolkit.

Lockpicks. Other sharp and pointy things. Probably a welding torch. One of those masks.

I had none of those, so, two paperclips, it was.

In my defense, they were quite good paperclips.

3/

And then I set to work. Brow sweating. Hands a whir of finesse and mechanical precision.

So close... and then no.

Give up your precious cargo, you infernal crate of the damned!

And then I got it...

Lock pops open.

4/

“Rejoice, mother! I have freed your documents! They are entombed no more in their ancient vault!

I am McGyver, Solver of Things! Come gaze upon my work!”

And, lo, she did run down to the basement to pull open the rattling drawer...

5/

...annnnnnd, it was empty.

Me: I thought you had documents in here?

My mom: Wut? No. I just wanted to use it.

That was clearly left out of the mission description.

I just broke into an empty filing cabinet. Sad.