I was a real son of a bitch in my 20's. I guess what I don't get about other people is the lesson I took from it was "I need to not be a son of a bitch" and not "I'll bet I can get away with this forever".
My advice to anyone, especially dudes, is to recognize when you hurt people, figure out why your dysfunction exists, begin the journey of fixing it, embrace kindness and patience, and maybe not hate yourself as much as I hated myself.
For me, I had to realize I was fucking miserable and, the closer people got to me, the more I broke them off a piece of that misery.
Because, even though I embraced many aspects of my femininity, I was still poisoned by toxic masculinity and always felt like I should suck it up and tackle my problems on my own.
That's some bullshit. I needed help, I refused to get it, and some wonderful people got hurt.
This is all more about emotional dysfunction than the more predatory nature of the assholes we're finding out about but that doesn't make me a saint nor did it make anything I said less hurtful.
Plus, with these pathological sexual abusers out there, how can we, as dudes, not do our best to change for the better? I can't imagine living like I did anymore. Everyone is happier now.
In summation:
1) Being a major asshole is not okay just because you don't fit a traditional abuser archetype.
2) There's no "okay" way to hurt people.
3) Get help.
4) Love yourself, love other people.
5) Write horrible, incredibly dark jokes.
1) Being a major asshole is not okay just because you don't fit a traditional abuser archetype.
2) There's no "okay" way to hurt people.
3) Get help.
4) Love yourself, love other people.
5) Write horrible, incredibly dark jokes.
