When I've had a really exhausting day and I'm looking forward to going home to a delicious meal of Afang soup and garri, my bed, with the laptop in front of me, on which I'll watch Kingsman: The Secret Service for the 28th time.
On a day like this, when I board a cab, I don't want the driver or any other person to talk to me.
Alas! Some people will not agree. Like the proverbial village people, they're relentless and must talk and drag me into doing the same.
The driver just wouldn't shut up. After several unsuccessful attempts at a light doze, I give up when he starts to talk about his love life.
"Madam, you see me, I'm a very faithful man. I don't like heartbreak, so I only date one woman at a time."
He looks in the rear view mirror to see if I’m listening. I give him an encouraging nod and he goes on.
“Sister, ask me how she nearly killed me.”
I smile dutifully. “How did she nearly kill you?"
He looks back again and I immediately play my part. “What test?”
“I told her that there's a room in my house that she should not enter. It’s ordinary room o, like store, but I was just testing her to see if she’s obedient. I told her that if she enter that room, she have kill me be dat.”
“And she entered?”
“As you see me so, I’m a simple man.”
I nod, and say nothing.
“Erm…my dear, are you married?”
I clear my throat.
“Driver?” I say.
“Enh?” he replies.
“Drop me here.”
Not long after I board, a well-dressed gentleman flags down the cab and gets in the back, instead of the front. Curious, I think.
“Hi. You back from work?” he asks.
Hay God! What is this nah? 😭
“Hello? I’m asking if you had a nice day?”
I still keep mum.
Then he goes and taps my arm. I turn and look at him with an inquiring, surprised gaze.
“How was your day?”
I actually signal “You complete me,” which is the only thing I can sign. But I add extra moves by pointing to my ear and shaking my head.
The fellow is startled and waves a “sorry.”
Disabilities make many people uncomfortable. Unsurprisingly, he turns away. Occasionally, he peeks at me out of the corner of his eye.
You know Nigerians nah, the two must go together.
Anyway, as I’m typing this, my voice is yet to return. At least I have been left alone with my fascinating thoughts for company.
Happy Easter, folks!