Thread by @WolfSkullJack

Having depression/anxiety and being in a relationship- a thread
I've been on both sides of it, being very unwell and taking care of a partner who is very unwell and I honestly had no idea how hard it is for the other person when I was the care giver. Let's talk about it

I've had someone before tell me outrightly that it's okay for me because I have a partner. Depression/anxiety is a huge strain on a relationship and even the best partner in the world has limits. The other person can help you sure, but they can't fix you.

Here's what helps me both as a care giver and as someone who has episodes. Feel free to add yours!
- be forgiving. To yourself and to the other person. I'm not well and not myself. If I snap at you for something minor please let it go. I will apologise for it later

-Let's not always talk about depression. It's good to talk but when that's ALL we talk about it gets way too heavy. Let's try and have fun together if possible. Even if it's just talking about movies or games

-listing off things I could try to improve my health only makes me feel more shitty. I know about going outside, eating better, taking victims, all of that stuff. I've heard it a million times. In my head I can hear 'you're not recovering fast enough/you aren't trying'

Treat your parter with depression as you would a best friend/how you want to be treated. I really fucked up on this. I was amazing with my friends who were suffering but when it was my partner I was impatient and placed so many unfair expectations on them

Tell your partner with depression that you love them and that you can see them trying to get better. When I'm really in it I feel like human garbage that no one could possibly love me. We need to hear it and we need to hear it often.

When you're caring for a partner with depression it can be really difficult. You can feel helpless and guilty for struggling. Talk to someone about it, it's not bad mouthing them, you need to take some time out for yourself too

Time alone (as long as you're not in a dangerous mindset) can be really helpful. I once spent a week away by myself to reset and it did me the world of good. If your partner needs to be by themselves don't take it personally.

Last one- remembering that things can get better for the both of you. We've been through this before and we reached the other side. We will get through this.

Please feel free to add your own. I'm always happy to learn more about tools and coping mechanisms