Thread by @vandroidhelsing

Hey so Gucci's 2019 resort collection is "Heavenly Bodies Take Brooklyn" so obviously I'm here. for. it.

Like if "Thrift Shop" was somehow also about Catholicism.

I don't know if this is a caftan or a dress or a pantsuit or a heavenly raiment we wot not of, but I need it and that cloak is right from my metsona.

Punk Mary Magdalene

Launching a GoFundMe for that cape, please donate what you can, it would mean so much to my family.

even nerds go to heaven

I kid but I actually, um, kind of want, that

THIS ROBE. I WOULD GO FULL QUINCY ENDICOTT FOR THAT ROBE.

Her necklace looks like cupcakes but when you zoom in they're scarabs, which is good, because I hate cupcakes but I like Egyptian mythology.

I have a powerful need for grandchildren so I can wear this.

Doesn't someone wear this in Hill Valley in 2015

SUCH A GOOD LOOK. Not a fan of the jeweled face-net, but also: a fan, because it resembles a lot of decorated saints' bodies.

A
MA
ZING.
Was Gucci watching the Met Gala and cackling to itself. Just wait until the end of the month, my darlings. Just wait until the end.

Love the jacket and the pin. Hate the pants and the shirt and the seedy mustache. He is so tired. Someone free him.

When you show up to the funeral to tell everyone it was you.

Saw this and thought "Drew Barrymore" but I don't? know? why?

If those bows were black, we'd have Morticia Addams' prom dress.

Some are saints for their good deeds. Others are saints because, if they were not imprisoned in an altar and venerated, we do not know what they might do.

Is this Riverdale

She was not invited. And that should have kept her out. But predators do evolve along with their prey. Nature, after all, is committed to digesting itself.

Who's a sucker for embroidered velvet, oh it's me

"We are going to meet the pope," said mama, dressing him nicely. She took him by narrow streets (he saw a rat) to a brick building. "Down the stairs," she said, & half-led, half-dragged him through room upon room, til there in a disastrous half-light glowed the deepest of vicars

Hm. Sometimes in these collections, there's a thing that reads as appropriation to me, but I'm not knowledgeable enough to say how, or what even is getting appropriated.

Further on in another room was another pope, though she smiled & said she was papess, not pope. Mama did her honor, and she seemed always on the verge of leaving.
—I must go, she kept saying.
"Oh stay," mama said.
He clung to mama, knowing that if the papess left, he must go too.

—You must meet my cardinal, said the papess. Oh do stop crying. Here is a peppermint.
It was a very sharp mint. The cardinal tilted shrouded eyes towards him and uttered many words, of the same syllables as the words he knew, but not of the same sense. The mint burned. He cried.

The new Pooh movie looks great.

If you were from 2365 and trying to recreate 20th century leisurewear,

—It is our Lady, said the papess, and made a curious gesture. Come boy and make your reverence to Her.
"I don't know how," he tried to say, but his teeth were gummed together with that mint and would not come unstuck.
—Come boy, said the papess, shaking his shoulder. Revere Her.

If someone doesn't buy me this cape I will cry and cry and cry.

Mad Max: Canada.

MY GOD THE FAKE TAN WHY GUCCI WHY

—It is the Lady's Son, said the papess, and made another curious gesture. Behind his glass, the Son gazed with lidded eyes & idly turned his pendant in his fingers.
"Why" he began, but the mint stuck his teeth together again.
—Nearly time for communion, said the papess. Come.

He coughed, for a thick smoke came from the priest. The papess thumped him on the back.
—Hush boy, she said. You disrespect the sacred edifice.
About them were stacks of boxes, ragged curtains, dust, and dead spiders. He could not see the ceiling. He coughed again.
—Disrespect!

Would in a million years: wear all of this.
Would not in a million years: have that hair.

Okay NORMALLY I'd say not to mix florals, but this works and is beautiful. Looking at it, though, I can only smell my great-grandmother's basement.

Just seeing this made my legs hot and sweaty. There's no way those pants breathe well.

There were other celebrants about, mostly visible only as a flash of gems, a muddled and upraised hand, or bright but stained stockings. They whispered to each other as the priest went about the service, but he could not understand a word they said. Beside him, the papess smiled.

The Lady appeared above the altar, her clothes bright & long, her hands full of flowers.
—We have made her anew, said the papess, now wearing dark glasses & a white smile. That is the first part of communion.
"What's the second?" he whispered, but she put her hand over his mouth.

The Son appeared as well, half-shrouded in black.
—Watch now, said the papess.
But a rat among the boxes caught his eye and he looked away, and he did not see the blade, the fall, the smiles of the celebrants, the puff of smoke yearning toward the dark invisible ceiling.

When he looked back, the Lady was whole again. The Son had vanished. The room was full of the sound of munching. But if he asked what he had missed, the papess would know, and the taste of mint in his mouth still punished him.

I don't have every costume from the original Twin Peaks memorized, but I am 78% sure this is one of them.

—It is time for the end, said the papess. Notice how Her clothes darken. We are in the final phases.
"Where is the pope?" he asked. She did not hear him.
—Notice, she said. Notice.
And she went on repeating that as if it nourished her.

This tastes like artificial watermelon.

The Lady went on softening & darkening until She was part of the shadows, except for the flowers She bore. The ceiling creaked as if someone were walking up there. But they were deep down under the city, in its damp dark passages where nobody walked. And still the Lady darkened.

Gucci just needs to stop.

I CHANGED MY MIND GUCCI IS GOOD ACTUALLY

There was a saint among them then, right as the Lady vanished. The saint with their distant eyes took in the congregation, the dusty basement, the old clothes and the rats.
"Help," he said. "Take me with you."
The saint said nothing, and receded, as saints sometimes do.

That's a very
hm
penisy haircut.

Would fight a baby for that green vest. The advantage of course is that babies don't care about Gucci, and would quickly give up the fight if you dangled Versace in front of them.

I need this smoking jacket. I need it. And I don't even smoke.

The priest left, taking their smoke with them. The room seemed larger now, with far more boxes and corners and curtains, and cobwebs blowing in a stale wind. He thought he smelled a tang of blood.
The papess stood and dusted herself off, then him. There was a lot of dust.

—That's that, said the papess, taking his hand. Further in we go.
"I want to go home."
She smiled.
—The way back is the way forward, she said, crouching to go through a dusty door. Forward you go until you come home from the other side & realize it was never there to begin with.