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Chef Shwasty @ChefShwasty
, 153 tweets, 38 min read Read on Twitter
ALRIGHT

#HungerGamesLiveTweet starts now

I get the feeling I'm woefully unprepared for this. At least with Harry Potter I knew it had to do with magic and stuff.

Whereas I just found out Hunger Games isn't about food this morning.

Anyways, LET'S GO.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Public reaping?
Oh shit it's gladiator
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Wtf is with that facial hair

He looks like a magician
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

That scream by the little girl woke my fucking cat up and she bolted out of the room while knocking over my water.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"I'll still cook you"

IT IS ABOUT FOOD YOU FUCKERS LIED
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I've always thought that JLaw looked like a real life Tweety bird (Looney Toons), so imma call her Tweety.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Tweety got mad game with that bow
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I'm so hungry I could eat that doe very easily

Haven't eaten yet today for the spirit of the games

And I don't have any food

But the former sounds better
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Who's the dumb fuck who scared the deer? Kinda looks like an asshole tbh
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Oh shit is that Ru Paul?
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Asshole looking dude I'm just gonna call Eyebrows.

Cuz damn.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Hawt damn

Oh fuck she just said the "odds" thing you guys have been telling me.

Tf?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I know for a god damn FACT one of the movies is "something something MOCKINGJAY" and she just got a mockingjay

So
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Why the fuck is she calling that girl a little duck? Of all the lovely pet names, I would not choose a duck.

They quack non stop, shit everywhere, and are generally annoying.

Unless that little girl does, too.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Shit, its a concentration camp
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Duck's panicking
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Man you guys don't want me to watch happy movies, do you?
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I am so confused right now.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ru Paul said the odds line, too.
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"War... War never changes"
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Getting some serious Backstory™ right now.
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Bitch WHAT

They're doing a gladiator thing to stop war?

This is basically like a weird Purge thing
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Its gonna be Tweety
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ah shit, it's Duck.

Dude she's wayyyy too fucking young.
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Bruh, Tweety. Solid move.

👊
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I think I've heard that volunteer line before.
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Katniss? The FUCK kinda name is that?

I'm sticking with Tweety.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

What's with the three finger thing?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Pita? As in the bread?

Man they don't do the whole "normal names" thing do they?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Bread boy looks fucking devastated.

I would be too. He might as well be wearing a red shirt on Star Trek.
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"Just try to win if you can!"

Her face is on the other movie covers so
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Eyebrows is definitely going to drop the line "you shouldn't die a virgin"

Wait for it
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Who am I kidding. That's not Ru Paul.

That's Willam.
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Update: my cat finally came back
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

No. Fucking. Way.

WOODY MY MAN.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Sponsors? There's sponsorship in this fucker?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God damn they've even got commentators
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This was written by whoever the author opposite of Ayn Rand is.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Times Tweety's been naked in this movie: 2
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Is that Lenny fucking Kravitz?

Dude. Awesome.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Marilyn Manson could have very well been on screen by now and I wouldn't fucking be able to tell either everyone else's weird ass aesthetic.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Was that Donald Sutherland?
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THIS. GIRL. IS ON FIIIIIIIIIREEEEEE.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Bread boy playing that audience like an absolute boss.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Lol at the two in the white rhinestone suits and cowboy hats
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Blonde boy looks like a fucking psychopath.

He's just a blonde boy doing what blonde boys do.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Sword.

Scythe.

Javelin.

Gun.

Shield.

Mace- wait fuck that gimme the gun
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

So what happens if blonde boy ices someone during practice? Does he get booted?
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The real Hunger Games here is me looking at that fucking food and hearing my stomach have very positive thoughts about it.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ahhh Bread Boy thinks he's gonna die. That's sad.
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Jesus some of these kids are not fucking around.
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God at their age I wasn't training for certain death

I was skipping school and doing dumb teen shit.
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Bread boy's got it where it counts
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The fuck is he doing to his arm? That's trippy as hell.
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Holy shit there's like an 8 year old girl there. Fuck.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Time for Tweety to shoot some shit down.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh they laugh now
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

First impression lost, man
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

OH SHIT

THAT'S HOW YOU GET SOME ATTENTION
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"Loosen your corset, have a drink"

Wisdom
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

What do the scores mean? Is that like "ability to fuck shit up"?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Well whatever it means, she beat em all
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"A little hope is good, a lot of hope is dangerous. Crush it."

Ayyy lmao its like listening to my anxiety.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Holy shit this tv host guy looks like a tool.

Gonna call him Regis.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Dude this is mad fucked.

Hey let's do a pre-bloodbath interview.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I'd show all these fuckers what's what

I'd just straight up have a fucking heart attack in front of an audience that size and die right there.

MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR oh shit he dead
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

She just self immolates right then and there.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Or she just gets dizzy and passes out.
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Yo get her sister's name out of your FUCKING MOUTH you slimy ball of hair gel.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Throw Regis in the ring. I wanna see that shit.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I'm rooting for Bread boy.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

MOTHERFUCKER CAN PLAY A CROWD
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Bread boy doesn't give a fuck about Tweety, he's just playing an angle.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Bread boy is the unsung hero of this world

"If I'm gonna die, I just want to go out flipping a double bird at these dumb fuckers who put this shindig together"

Man after my heart.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

From what I've gathered so far

Tweety is basically Player Unknown.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh shit is it go time already?

The entire second half of this movie is the fucking bloodbath?

Dude. This is going to be very tense.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Hey she's got her good luck pin
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This feels like an episode of Black Mirror.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Dude I'm fucking nervous
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

That's a lot of weapons.

Its also a fucking trap.

Run away.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

My heart is actually racing from this count down.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh

Oh holy Jesus

That's a lot more brutal than I thought.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Dude even the fucking kid

Wow

I was not ready
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God damn. They just... Dropped
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Where the fuck is Bread boy?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I'm so hungry even that squirrel looked good.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God wouldn't it fucking suck to be the guy who died from choking on lunch in this ordeal.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They play an "in memoriam" reel?

Dude this movie is so MESSED UP
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

You can form alliances?

Isn't that like cheating or something?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh fuck me dude he's in the really fucked up alliance
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Tweety is doing exactly what I'd do

Pick a direction and go that direction.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Only you can prevent forest fires

This message brought to you by the guy throwing fucking FIREBALLS AT TWEETY
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Now's your chance, Bread boy, stab em in the back.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Where does she think she's going?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Yeah she's a little trapped. Bad. Move.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The hell is that?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Its burn salve.

I mean that's great, but maybe an anti-sword salve would've been better.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh snap little girl to the rescue?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Now THAT is a shitty way to die.
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Queue hallucinations.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh god it feels like being too drunk

Everything's all wavy and blurry.

Ugh.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

She's hallucinating about miners?

I mean, I guess I hallucinated that only Paul Mccartney could understand me that one time....
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The little girl DID save her. Awesome.
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A COUPLE OF DAYS?!

Dude.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I love this little girl and I'm now rooting for her. Rest of these people can go get stung.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Mockingjays sound cool as hell
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Thank you @TwitterSupport for locking my account for a few minutes. Let's resume, shall we?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I don't like the looks of the camp.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh FUCK that's a lot of boom
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh that kid is dead.
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They better not harm the little girl
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh man, she killed someo

WOAH NUH UH

NO

NOOOO

NO
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

GOD DAMMIT OKAY IM FUCKING MAD NOW

I WANT THEM ALL TO DIE
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Tweety is going to SCORCH THE EARTH BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALL FUCKED UP
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

She's not dead? No canon blast!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

... No she is most assuredly dead.

I'm just trying to remain positive.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Wands up for Rue
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God damn District 11 looks like Philadelphia after an Eagles loss.

Or win.

Basically just Philly.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

So Bread Boy and Tweety can theoretically make it out alive now?!

PLOT TWIST
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I still think Bread boy is a red shirt, though...
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Jesus dude he made himself into a rock.

But, he's STILL ALIVE

MY MAN
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh now my girl Tweety is playing the cameras, too.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Dude could someone air freight me some soup?

Fuck I'm hungry.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They're hosting a feast in the middle?

How obvious can you be that you're just whoring for ratings.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Eyebrows is crushed

But he should know better

They're ACTING
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I mean if they start doing the nasty I'd be more convinced, but for now, it's obvious they're acting.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Why wouldn't you grab all the bags?

Oh fuck it's creepy knife girl
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh SHIT this bitch is DEAD.

FUCK you for killing Rue.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ayyy magic salve!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They're releasing demon dogs now?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I do NOT like the sound of the demon dogs.

And they got Rue's dude. Damn.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Man that's just fucking rude releasing more.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

FUCK OFF BLONDE BOY
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This is too tense
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

TAKE THE SHOT, TWEETY

BETWEEN THE EYES

JUST LIKE THE APPLE
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Aw man, blonde boy had Tragic Backstory™

But didn't Tweety and Bread boy just win?!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Hey they won!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Woah what

They can't change the rules like that
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

KILL HER BREAD BOY

MAKE IT QUICK

NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Jesus I didn't want this ending
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

FUCK YES

THAT'S RIGHT YOU STUPID BITCH

DOUBLE SUICIDE AIN'T GOOD FOR RATINGS

GET REKT
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God I hate this Regis guy
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I love Donald Sutherland but he's givin me the heebies right now.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Eyebrows gonna be pissed.

Is he a Hemsworth?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Heyyy happy ending. Bread boy and Tweety live and got to go home.

That's the end, right? No more? We cool?
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