I want to tell you all a story about something I saw on Monday. I've been thinking about it since then.
My cousins came to visit and I took them on a walking tour of Harvard Square. The Harvard campus is here, and it's all intermingled with shops and there are a lot of tourists.
We were coming down Massachusetts Ave--one of the main busy streets--on our way to the T. We were right outside JP Licks, the ice cream store, and debating whether to get ice cream. Then we heard a little girl wailing.
She was probably about 3 or 4, white, dark blond hair. She was crying so hard she couldn't talk. Her hair was tangled around her face.
A small cluster of adults were crouched around her: a middle-aged white woman, a middle-aged Asian lady in a large sun visor, a tall black guy in his 40s. All of them were trying to talk to her and help her.
She couldn't really talk. Tears were running down her face and she was wailing and screaming. Everyone was trying to figure out what to do and how to help her.
Then a woman came running out of the T-shirt shop 3 doors down from where we were and ran to her and grabbed her up in her arms and it all became clear. They were tourists. They'd been in the T-shirt shop and the little girl wandered out and got lost.
The mother must have stood there for a full minute, just holding her girl. Then she sank down onto the steps of the shop and put her hands in her head and just sobbed, hugged her daughter again, sobbed some more. Everyone watching was teary, but relieved.
I was there with my 7yo and my cousins were there with their 3 kids, one of whom is 8. I had to hug my son pretty hard at that moment.
What a terrifying thing for this mom and child: to be far from home, to be separated and not know where the other was. And, in the case of the child (maybe the mother too?), to be unable to speak to those around.
Now imagine that instead of trying to help, the passers-by had taken the child away.
Now imagine that instead of trying to calm the child, they'd put her in a cage.
Now imagine that instead of the mother coming back, she'd been locked in jail.
Now imagine that instead of trying to calm the child, they'd put her in a cage.
Now imagine that instead of the mother coming back, she'd been locked in jail.
Now imagine that instead of being white, the mother and child were Latinx, or Muslim, or black, or anything other than white.
Now imagine that instead of being a tourist on vacation, they were running from danger and couldn't go back.
Now imagine that instead of being a tourist on vacation, they were running from danger and couldn't go back.
Now--finally--imagine if, instead of caring, the people walking by had gone about their daily business: running errands, buying a T-shirt, eating ice cream. We--most of us--we are those people.
I realize this scene from Monday and what's happening at the border have many differences. But I keep thinking it, and wishing we'd see the similarities first.
Ask yourself: If you'd been walking down Mass Ave and seen a crying, lost child, what would you do? Then extend that to the separations of children at the border, to the refugees searching for safety worldwide, to the people everywhere just trying to keep their kids safe & alive.
Here's another thing you can do, if you can: if you've got family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, who don't see the similarities here, tell them a story like this. Tell them why you care, and keep trying to convince them they should care.
I'm not arguing for "civility" here. Call fascists fascists, call racists racists, There should be consequences for being a bigot. But I'm also holding out hope for human connection and human change. We can hope people will learn and empathize and change, even as we fight.
I haven't been calling for #smallacts in a while, because I had to choose between that and my other work--writing and taking actions of my own. But I hope you're still out there looking for small ways to fight intolerance and hate, and promote acceptance and inclusion.
There may be situations--even people--you give up as a lost cause. That's okay. But don't give up hope that the majority of people will fall on the side of inclusion and tolerance and love. That the world can change, slow though it may be.
Ha, StayFocusd just cut me off because I exceeded my allotted Twitter time. But I have a phone, StayFocusd. 😈
People have been asking: But what DO we do? Call your electeds. Attend a rally. Show up. Support candidates for change and groups you believe in, with time & money, whenever you can. For god’s sake, VOTE.
Talk to neighbors and friends and encourage them to act, too. Reach out to your local mosques and refugee centers and tell them you’re with them and ask if you can help—they will be glad to hear from you. The #smallacts tag has many more ideas.
It comes down to this: What do you believe in? Where is it not happening in your world—your neighborhood, your school, your city? What one thing can you do to encourage it? Then do that thing.
Maybe you hear anti-Muslim or anti-gay slurs in the halls of your school. Push your teachers/admins to address this. Ask in speakers, hold discussion forums, start an organization for solidarity to spread awareness that this is not okay.
Maybe your neighborhood has a lot of undocumented immigrants. Ask your city what they’re doing to support this population. See if you can set up workshops to help people sort out their status. (@cambridge_cpsd has been running sessions for families here, for instance.)
Think about what you know and who you know and what you can add. Are you a lawyer? Maybe you can organize colleagues to donate their time/services to address the MANY legal battles we’re facing now.
Do you speak Spanish, Arabic, etc? There are probably groups that could use you as a translator. Find them and offer your help.
Are you in business? Work for a major cooperation? Pressure your company to make a public statement about their beliefs. And then make them stick to it. There’s no such thing as “being neutral” when it comes to human rights.
Maybe you are just a small local business. Put up a sign saying all are welcome, that you support inclusion and tolerance, that you care about LGBTQ rights and refugees and that black lives matter. Make your neighborhood a visible place of tolerance.
Think about what you have that you can offer. Restaurant? Call the offices of new political challengers, or refugee centers, homeless shelters, anyone who’s working to fight bigotry. Ask if they could use a food donation—for fundraisers or to feel staff prob working overtime.
Ask yourself: what do I believe in? Where can I support that in my neighborhood, in my community, my state? Do what you can. Then ask yourself honestly: can I do more?
One last thing: you don’t need me for #smallacts. When you take one, post using the hashtag so others can use your example. If you’re not sure what to do, search and see what others are doing. #SmallActs isn’t me. It’s all of us.
