Listening to Iain Duncan Smith and Esther McVey, I think I've spotted a difference. Both would rob you blind (obviously) but Duncan Smith would put the boot in while McVey would slash your face with a Stanley knife.
Theresa May would get you to close your eyes in prayer then pick your pocket and give all the money to the Orange Lodge.
David Davis would waylay you in the pub toilets but then forget what he was intending.
Michael Gove would distract you while Sarah Vine hit you from behind with a freebie designer handbag. Then she'd write a column about penniless scum lying in the gutter.
