testing....
Previously on The Mueller Files...
I've downloaded the latest set of indictments (Episode 2, if you will), and will now break down the episode. Thanks to the @nytimes for providing the raw PDFs. We're in a time when to be American requires reading PDFs. int.nyt.com/data/documenth…
It's the United States of America (that me!) vs. A BUNCH OF RUSSIANS (12 of them). Part Deux. 
There are 11 counts in the indictment, and the PDF opens with some clear explanations of what is involved in the first count: conspiracy to commit an offense against the united states.
Here's my Homeland-style storyboard for Episode 2 of The Mueller Files. The Russians used two military intel units (26165 and 74455) to hack into Hillary's campaign, the DNC, and DCCC, steal a bunch of shit and release it, to mess with our elections.
9 of the 12 Russian military officers charged worked in Unit 26165. Their job was to Hack and Steal. I made an org-chart for yall because I like to visualize relationships.
The other 3 worked for Unit 74455. This unit's job was to Weaponize and Release the stolen goods. They called this "The Tower" which coincidentally is a terrible movie from the 90s (imdb.com/title/tt010837…), much like the nation of Russia.
I admire the clarity of Mueller's writing staff. "Object of the Conspiracy" spelled out so understandably.
I hope Unit 26165 got paid or a promotion or some extra vacation days or something. They worked hard for those 50,000 emails. Using "spearfishing" and "spoofing" targeting 300 members of Clinton's campaign
What's spearfishing? Well let's go to a credible source, the Russia-based Kaspersky Labs anti-virus company helps us out. Thanks guys! usa.kaspersky.com/resource-cente…
That the Russians targeted THREE HUNDRED campaign staff says to me: WE ARE NOT FUCKING AROUND HERE. WE WILL GET UP IN YOUR SERVERS. It's impossible to defend 300 points of simultaneous attack. They were going to get in. And when they did, they installed malware to monitor things.
Just don't click links in your email ever again, k?
After collecting info from the spearfishing effort, the Russians used the stolen credentials to access the DCCC where they installed more malware to steal more data and credentials. It's like, I heard you like theft, so I put some theft inside your theft...
They could see EVERYTHING infected users typed into their computers. All emails. All correspondence. All passwords. Throw your computer out the window right now, America.
So they got into Hillary's campaign. Used that access to get inside the DCCC. and used THAT access to get inside the DNC. THANK GOD WE LIVE IN A NETWORKED WORLD IN WHICH EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED INCLUDING TELEVISIONS AND REFRIGERATORS. Throw your TVs out the window right now.
They broke in, not just to like meditate and feel cool for breaking in, but to steal stuff. I love that they copied a Benghazi folder. I assume that folder was just filled with gifs of Hillary brushing dirt off her shoulder.
Then these crafty folks had to make off with the loot and try to evade detection. So they compressed and encrypted the data before shuttling it off. Slow. Clap.
Their intrusion was detected! But they tried to maintain access. They even spoofed @actblue to try to steal some more credentials to maintain access after a cybersecurity vendor (Company 1) found them out.
So they broke in. they stole stuff. But the real damage was yet to come. They had to release it in a way that would get it picked up in the media and do damage to Hillary. Enter "DC Leaks"
And of course they created a Facebook page because you can't undermine democracy without Facebook!
Once folks started suspecting this was a Russian operation, they deployed the Shaggy "It Wasn't Me" defense and created Guccifer 2.0 to take credit.
What blows my mind is Mueller's team got access to a LOT of logs and information. They looked at the Guccifer blog posts and found the Russians searching for the same language used in those posts before they were written!! Everything you do online is tracked. Everything.
Fun detail: a US congressional candidate requested stolen goods from Guccifer 2.0. WHO IS THIS??
And Guccifer 2.0 was in communication with someone whose name likely rhymes with Loger Lone.
So The Russians are pumping out this crap via DC Leaks and Guccifer and chatting with Roger Stone, but then "Organization 1" enters the frame to help out. Spoiler Alert: It's WikiLeaks. Right before the DNC.
So what's the crime here? COMPUTER CRIMES. This is mad illegal yo!
They also committed multiple identity thefts, which, like, you can't do.
Also... MONEY LAUNDERING!!! Note this. They "conspired to launder the equivalent of $95,000 through a web of transactions structured to capitalize ON THE PERCEIVED ANONYMITY of cryptocurrencies such as bitcoin." Attention criminals!! Bitcoin is not a cloaking device. They see you
If you've been curious about cryptocurrency, bitcoin, and the blockchain, you could listen to @zigzagpod or Robert Mueller and team got you. This is like a webinar!
The Russians even MINED bitcoin to generate currency to pay for their crimes. Respect. I wonder what GPU they used.
Oh man, they didn't just hack Hillary, the DCCC, and the DNC, they went after state election commissions. It's almost like the Russians were SERIOUS ABOUT ATTACKING US!
They succeeded, getting at least 500,000 people's information. Luckily we all change our drivers license numbers, social security numbers, names, and addresses regularly, so this stolen information has no current value right?!?
That's the basics. The Russians attacked us via hundreds of people, broke into accounts, stole data, shuttled it back out, weaponized it, published it, and succeeded. I'm impressed that Mueller's team knows as much as they know. I'm horrified about what they don't know...
And I'm horrified about the damage already done based on what was stolen. Plus the current president and his co-conspirators in the Republican congress DO NOT CARE. Why am *I* doing this work? This is Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell's job.
The Republicans, self-proclaimed promoters of law and order and national defense have failed to take this threat seriously, and in so doing, are complicit in future crimes against the United States. There's a word for that behavior. I can't think of what it might be...
