One thing that's missing or at least severely downplayed in a lot of discussions around appropriate online behavior and holding people accountable for things they've said in the past is an acknowledgment and analysis of power.
If, say, a trans woman of color, who has experienced marginalization, danger, and fear living in a world of power structures that prioritize whiteness and maleness, lashes out at "white men" online, that is 100% NOT THE SAME as white men being racist and transphobic.
One is an expression, however small, of anger or anguish or defiance against the oppressive status quo. The other is an attempt to reassert and reinforce that oppressive status quo, to continue the dehumanization of people whose humanity is already denied and disregarded.
Attempts to apply the same standards to everyone, when all things are most definitely *not* equal, benefit the status quo by making invisible the realities of those power imbalances which contribute to so much inequality and suffering every day.
Friendly reminder: We live in a white supremacist patriarchy, not an enlightened, equitable utopia. It is not "racist" or oppressive to insult, criticize or condemn that system or the fact that it benefits certain groups at the expense of marginalizing others.
