Something happened that rlly unsettled me. I am up in Edinburgh at the fringe festival with my four girlfriends. At the last minute, a mate's boyfriend decided to come with us for the week. It's mostly ok as we rented out a uni flat and we each have a separate bedroom (1)
He is a TYPICAL soft boy, bro-socialist, pop-culture junkie and has a v combatitive conversation style, ergo we have clashed a couple of times but so far we are keeping things pleasant. (2)
However, we were about to see a show but needed the loos beforehand so we went in search of a toilet, yet we only came across the women's toilets. Casually and breezily he just strolls right in. Alarm bells start ringing. (3)
This bearded, leather jacket-clad, doc martens-wearing, male 'lefty' has just strolled into the women's toilets like it's his God-given right.I am hurt and angry all at once. (4)
I immediately think that he's been drinking the trans ideology 'everything should be gender neutral' Kool Aid and spending too much time on Twitter. But I am worried how these ideologies - in part formed and propagated on social media- are bleeding into the real world (5).
And in truth, I am not afraid of him per sey. But does he realise that he has metaphorically AND literally opened the door for other men to follow suit. Perverts, voyeurs, predators, your garden variety dickheads shall follow his example if a man using the lady's is normalised(6)
I have been hounded in public from age 10 by men. I was catcalled at 11. I was followed home from work by male colleagues at 20. I had some of the same male colleagues simulate anal raping me with a broom handle when I bent over to get something at work. (7)
I was sexually harassed as a barmaid at 22 where a guy I served said he would check the condom machine in the men's room for 'johnnies' as he was going to sleep with me later. We do not live in a gender neutral society so our toilets shouldn't be either. (8)
The women's bathroom provided a respite from all that. A place where I could have deep conversations by the sinks about how shit boys were, I could have drunk pep talks before heading back out onto the clubfloor, I could apply make-up and rearrange tights in private (9)
Now that guy just brazenly took a wrecking ball to all that. This happened yesterday and it's still making my heart heavy. I haven't confronted him over it because I know he would act like an entitled brat and call me a TERF (10)
