Thread by @garius

Nah. Because there's something ELSE the original Predator got right and which pretty much every sequel has screwed up.

HUMAN DRAMA isn't the core plot of original Predator. THE HUNT is. /1

https://twitter.com/formerleft/status/1042045939534446592

Predator is very cleverly written to SUGGEST that human drama is the plot (the rescue, Dillon's actions, Anna's capture) but actually they're all micro-plots.

That is, they're narrative devices that combine to further the ACTUAL plot - which is 'the Predator is on a hunt'/2

That adds to the horror and tension, because not only are the characters not able to beat the Predator, but they also AREN'T in control of the plot. They're passengers. /3

Basically, the audience get tricked into the comfort zone of seeing Arnie and co as the protagonists (through the setup and first fight). But once the Predator shows up, HE becomes the protaganist. He takes control away from both the audience AND the fire team /4

So when Arnie and co lose control, SO DO THE AUDIENCE. Because they've lost their protagonists.

In gaming terms, they're now just watching a bunch of NPCs, right up until Arnie's (brief) seizure of power back right at the end for JUST LONG ENOUGH to barely escape alive. /5

And, again, this is what really makes Predator work. As mentioned in my last thread, the WHOLE FILM is about making all the humans involved - characters AND audience - feel like they have no sense of control. /6

https://twitter.com/garius/status/1041725446394720261

So if you want to make a Predator sequel (or remake) that actually captures the heart of the original, then you have to do those two things:

1) Demonstrate the characters involved are competent and then remove control from them
2) Make it not about those characters /7

You know the OTHER film that did the above really well?

Aliens.

Which is WHY Aliens vs Predator is such an appealing concept, subconsciously, to so many people.

And also why the ACTUAL films to bear that name are so fucking frustrating. Because they IGNORE those rules. /8

So given that we're going down the 'what if' route now, here's how I would apply those rules to AvP (remembering I'm a narrative historian, not a screenwriter, of course): /9

Start the film with a small group of Colonial Marines tasked with clearing out an Alien infestation on a jungle planet and capturing key specimens. Have them accomplish this succesfully. Capturing a live Alien Hunter and Queen in the process. /10

Unbeknownst to them, a Predator is observing. Imply perhaps that Predators like nests like these because they provide good 'sport' and the Marine presence is, to the Predator, simply a lucky accident which makes the hunt more fun now. /11

Have the Predator kill a Marine to deliberately free the Hunter. Have the Marines realise that it WASN'T the Hunter that killed their fellow soldier. They now know there are TWO threats - Hunter and something else. They now focus on retreating to their ship with the Queen. /12

The Marines now have to survive the Hunter's attacks as it tries to 'save' the Queen. The Predator, meanwhile, 'toys with its food' - picking off individual Marines, driving off the Hunter when it looks likely to overwhelm them all, BUT never letting the Hunter know it exists /13

The Marines should try, and fail (at least with regards to the Predator), to combat both sources of attack (but in logical, clever ways - remember, they need to seem competent, but just entirely out fought and thought). /14

Eventually a single surviving Marine, along with the ship's non-combatant pilot who was also in the party, should see the Predator slip up and ALMOST let the Hunter know it exists. They should realise this is their only hope of escape. /15

They should then attempt to trick the Predator into revealing its existence - and OWN threat to the Queen - to the Hunter. This plan should ALMOST fail, but the Predator's overconfidence should mean it just about succeeds. /16

FROM THIS POINT ON there should be no dialogue. The last Marine dies as collateral damage as an epic fight between the Hunter and Predator ensues. Eventually the Predator, bloodied, should triumph and STILL manage to get between the surviving pilot, caged Queen and the ship /17

The pilot looks at the Predator. The Predator, covered in glowing blood, looks at the pilot. The pilot looks at the caged Queen and back to the Predator. /18

The wounded Predator laughs. It's EXACTLY like Dutch's recorded laugh, but also slightly different: it's female. She raises her spear defiantly.

The pilot looks back at the cage, opens it and lunges for the ship. The Queen and Predator, lunge at each other...

Cut to black /END

ADDENDUM: This should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway. There should be no subplots to this. No romances. No big monologues about getting back home to the family. Only one subplot is allowed. /A1

This is that they didn't know they were going to have to capture a Queen. Yet once told, they just shrug off the increased complexity of the mission, improvise and achieve that anyway. /A2

That change of plan comes as a last minute order, revealed by the Exec Officer playing a pre-recorded video with orders from a cigar-totting, evil looking cunning bastard of a Colonial Intelligence Agency (CIA) General.

That general is, of course, played by @Schwarzenegger /END