Thread by @ShutapaPaul

Thank you for the msgs of support and courage that I have received till now. I needed some time to gather my thoughts and relive what happened to me 8 years ago. #MeToo #MJAkbar 1/n

I’m better equipped to handle the trauma and stress if a similar incident happened today but as a 26-year-old who had just lost her father in 2010, I struggled badly. Today, I’m ready to talk about the sexual predator that is #MJAkbar. #MeToo 2/n

In 2010, I joined India Today in Kolkata. I was excited to be part of the organisation, my dream job. This job meant a lot to me coming a month after I lost my father, whose illness had compelled me to shift base from Delhi. #MJAkbar #MeToo 3/n

I was doing well in the job & within a couple of mths was almost handling the Kol bureau after the bureau chief took a transfer to the HQ. By the end of the year, all this would change. #MJAkbar, a well-known, rockstar editor, had taken up the reins of India Today #MeToo 4/n

When #MJAkbar 1st came to Kolkata to meet the team at ITC Sonar, just as we were about to leave, he squeezed my elbow rather painfully and said that I should call him directly if I needed something. I didn’t react thinking that he was only being encouraging as a boss. #MeToo 5/n

An editor as old as my father, it could only be fatherly attention, I consoled myself. #MeToo #MJAkbar 6/n

His visits to Kolkata increased soon after. #MJAkbar insisted on meeting at ITC Sonar where he would stay. I was asked to come around 8 pm. In the exclusive members’ only lounge, his personal waiter brought him glasses of whiskey and muri (puffed rice). #MeToo 7/n

#MJAkbar insisted that I drink too. ‘What kind of journalist are you that doesn’t drink and smoke?’ Even if I did socially, I wasn’t going to do this with a boss, and not this boss who had already started making me feeling uncomfortable. Plus, I had a cold. #MeToo 8/n

#MJAkbar forced me to have at least one drink. He stared, stayed quiet, while I told him about all the stories that I planned to get done in the next few months. I had lots and lots of ideas and I hoped he would approve of them. But he did not want to talk about story ideas. 9/n

#MJAkbar told me how journalists working together often ‘grew close’ and things could happen between them. He told me I should accompany him on his foreign visits. I told him about my mother, my recently deceased father & the committed relationship I was in at that time 10/n

I hoped it would change his line of conversation with me. Since I’m interested in politics, he said, I should give up on having a personal life. I’m no Cleopatra but he liked sitting and looking at me, he said. #MeToo #MJAkbar 11/n

I didn’t know how to react and my 26-year-old self kept going back to those story ideas. I had asked my mother to call exactly at 10 pm. I beat a hasty retreat hoping that the worst was over. #MeToo #MJAkbar 12/n

The next few days at work were great. I couldn’t put a step wrong. My stories were doing well. While discussing a possible cover story, the #MJAkbar told me over the phone that India Today is moving towards ‘convergence’. #MeToo 13/n

Now journalists from across its various verticals (magazine, tv, online) could have their stories carried across platforms. ‘Tor jonno korechi aami’ (I have done this for you), he said in Bengali over the phone. #MeToo #MJAkbar 14/n

Stumped by this statement, I blurted ‘Thank you, Sir. I will use my TV experience’. #MeToo #MJAkbar 15/n

At the annual office meeting held in Delhi early in 2011, #MJAkbar greeted with me great familiarity in front of everyone. I did not hang out with any office colleagues choosing instead to meet an old friend and locked my hotel room door firmly before going to sleep #MeToo 16/n

I was scared that #MJAkbar would message or summon me. Thankfully he didn’t. I believed this was the end. The next day he asked me to drop into his Nizamuddin East residence. On the way to the airport to catch my flight back, I dropped in. #MeToo 17/n

His home office was dark and there were old Hindi ghazals playing in the background. #MJAkbar didn’t have much to tell me, again just sat silently & stared. I said I had a flight to catch, a friend waiting outside to drop me to the airport. ‘Bf?’ he asked. No, just a friend. 18/n

As I tried to dash out the door, #MJAkbar gave me a hard hug, I ducked whatever else could have followed and fled. He seemed amused at my ducking. #MeToo 19/n

#MJAkbar was coming down to Kolkata again. He wanted to meet at the hotel again. His secretary called to tell me that boss will be in town. When the meeting was again going to be a late evening one, I made an excuse and didn’t show up. #MeToo 20/n

The next morning, I woke up to cryptic text messages from #MJAkbar. Paraphrasing them: ‘You should know what’s important to you. Your career or other things’. I assured him that my career was very important to me and I would work hard on my stories. #MeToo 21/n

The next mth, #MJAkbar had come to Kol again. I was asked to meet him but I would have to wait till he was done meeting another female colleague from HQ who was also in town. After making me wait in office the whole evening, He asked me to come to ITC Sonar at 11 pm #MeToo 22/n

I refused. It was too late, I had to go home, I reasoned. I was scared, worried, nervous but I knew I didn't want to meet him that late at night. Now that there are more gruesome tales of his sexual advances, I know I dodged a bullet by refusing to meet #MJAkbar #MeToo 23/n

After that refusal, I became completely invisible in the organisation. None of my stories were getting approved, what ever I wrote was being ridiculed at edit meetings. Some Delhi colleagues told me about this. #MeToo #MJAkbar 24/n

From a reporter who was doing impactful stories, I was relegated to being a nobody. Someone else, with little relevant experience, was recruited in Kol & I was asked to report to him. Suddenly, all past accolades amounted to nought in just a couple of weeks #MeToo #MJAkbar 25/n

I knew what was happening to me but had no way of seeking redressal. I was dying at work every day. Everyone who has worked with me knows my deep involvement and commitment to work. But work was Hell for me now. #MeToo #MJAkbar 26/n

For days, I was depressed, traumatised and very low. I hadn’t even gotten over the untimely demise of my father and here was someone the same age as my father who was causing me irreparable emotional damage #MeToo #MJAkbar 27/n

Matters came to a head when #MJAkbar asked me to take the principal byline for a story where my contribution was only 10%. It was a controversial story with political repercussions. But since it was not the result of my investigations, I refused #MeToo 28/n

When I refused over email, #MJAkbar was enraged, but I stood my ground. After this incident, I realised that I won’t be able to work in India Today now that I had rejected MJ’s overtures. The only way would be to give in and I wasn’t prepared to do that. #MeToo 29/n

I called up my old boss and asked for a job. With a heavy heart, I quit India Today shortly after. The Editor under #MJAkbar, immediately called me and asked why I quit so suddenly. I told her that I just couldn’t work with MJ. #MeToo 30/n

I have spoken about my experience & this person’s abuse of power to a clutch of ppl in the last few yrs. To think that #MJAkbar is now more powerful than ever makes me shudder. But I draw courage from brave women everywhere and am now getting this monkey off my back #MeToo 31/n

This incident traumatised me and I was filled with self-doubt and low esteem. I wish I had fought back then but I didn’t know how. The only way I could was to work hard and keep proving myself professionally. #MeToo #MJAkbar 32/n

Today I can talk about this traumatic experience thanks to #MeToo and people like @priyaramani & others, who have given me courage. I hope this fight can bring about lasting change in our society and workplace. 33/(ends)