Laurie Penny's too eager to cozy up to neo-Nazis to be trusted, but this essay (from Feb, but feels super timely now) might be the perfect, gently-phrased 101 reading for men on a bunch of the nuances of not being part of the problem in the age of #MeToo. longreads.com/2018/02/14/the…
This is a pretty good explanation of the problem every time men start talking about their reactions to MeToo. "Women know how to suffer, apparently, and men do not, so we should carry on being punished." 
And this is a good explanation of the main problem with restorative justice, the theory versus how it seems, too often, to turn out.
And this feels like a fairly honest self-assessment of the reaction from someone who tried to rehabilitate an abuser to someone who went public about the abuse. (Side note: you want to try to rehabilitate, go for it, but don't you DARE try to convince victims to stay quiet.)
On being "nice" and moderating your tone:
On the Problem With Men (which isn't a problem with men, it's a problem with how society shapes men).
And yes, preach, PREACH, on how men trumpeting their self-hatred, their "we're shitty, yes, so very shitty!" is both a responsibility dodge and an offloading of emotional labor.
Fuck "niceness," Pt. 2
On whether #MeToo has ruined any men's lives. Kavanaugh's on the Supreme Court, Louis CK is performing again, Roman Polanski's making a new movie with funding and everything. Meanwhile, Dr. Ford can't go home because of the death threats.
And yes, please let's dispense with the idea that the world is divided into Good Men and Bad Men, because all it does is allow people who have experienced goodness from a particular man deny that he is capable of inflicting badness upon anyone else.
