It's very beautiful to see people in the gay community honoring and remembering Matthew Shepard on the 20th anniversary of his death, but I remember that around the time of his death another gay man, Billy Jack Gaither, was also brutally murdered. 
Billy Jack was also hanging out at a straight bar in a small rural town, he was also lured away by a couple of guys, he was put in the trunk of a car, driven to a remote location, had his throat cut with an axe, then was burned to death because he was gay.
Even though the story was strikingly similar and happened less than three months after Matthew Shepard's death, the story didn't become part of the national consciousness, it didn't become part of the story that was being told about Matthew Shepard and violence against gay people
No one cared about Billy Jack's story because he wasn't cute. He wasn't young, he wasn't attractive, and he didn't come from a nice background. The mainstream and gay press couldn't imagine this trashy, not hot guy merited the sorrow as an adorable twink. I internalized that.
Matthew was killed 9 months before I came out of the closet, Billy Jack was killed six months before I came out of the closet, and I used to joke that I hoped I was never the victim of a homophobic murder because I wasn't cute enough to get the cover of @TheAdvocateMag
It was a dark joke, but one that has, over time, been proven valid. They gay press chooses whom to humanize and whom to lionize largely based on how cute they are. So today, while I'm watching gay press outlets post videos of our cutest current gay celebs remembering Matthew...
I'm going to be honoring and mourning Matthew's memory, but I'm also going to be thinking about Billy Jack Gaither, and all the other gay people who deserve to be loved, protected, and supported, but fear they won't be because they aren't sexy enough.
