1/ On Monday, we will bury my husband's Grandmother. On Monday, I was scheduled to give 4 talks in Chicago at a National emergency medicine meeting. I emailed the organizers and apologized that I must cancel last minute. Why do I write this here?
2/ Recently, I went through what I can only call a very ugly divorce from a place I worked at for the last 8 years of my life. I put every ounce of myself into that place. I often picked the institution over my own family. Rather than play with my kids in the evenings, I worked.
3/ Rather than attend gatherings with close friends, I worked. Rather than stay home sick and heal myself through illness, I worked. And although all of that work built my CV, it did NOTHING for me at my institution in the end. None of that work was valued.
4/ My divorce was so ugly and so shrouded in negativity, that all of my good work was mentally erased from the minds of those who worked beside me for the last 8 years.
The post divorce journey was terrible.
The post divorce journey was terrible.
5/ I was depressed so much so that I met the DSM criteria for clinical depression. I did not want to eat, get out of bed, brush my teeth, play with my kids.....this period of time was the worst I have ever felt in my life.
6/ If not for the support of my family, my friends and the existence of my children, I am confident I would have killed myself. I thought about it often and it was these people that prevented the action. The very people who were second to work.
7/ I learned so much on my very dark journey, much too much to post it all here. Today's shared lesson is that we must not choose our work over our people. It is our people who will shine light during darkness. It is our people who cushion our falls.
8/ It is our people who will protect our vulnerable states. Our work will not.
So many of you are frantically clawing to climb the ladder of professional success just as I did.
So many of you are frantically clawing to climb the ladder of professional success just as I did.
9/ You are leaving your people at the bottom of the ladder rather than taking the time to bring them with you. I ask that you reconsider your approach and not make the same mistake as I did. That ladder that you think is made of bricks and mortar may only be made of salt and sand
10/ It may be one storm away from crumbling. Mine was a wicked storm and the ladder was gone overnight. I fell far and hard because I didn't take the time to bring my people along with me. Thankfully, they remained and caught me at the bottom.
11/ On Monday, we will bury my husband's Grandmother. On Monday, I was scheduled to give 4 talks in Chicago at a National emergency medicine meeting. I emailed the organizers and apologized that I must cancel last minute. Never again will choose work over my people.
