So, there's this lady in my church. Well, I think I may have a crush on her. She's very beautiful, average in height, fair in complexion and her shape, perfectly perfect, but her problem is that her shakara too much.
Thread 👇👇👇
Thread 👇👇👇
As I entered the church auditorium today, an usher led me to a vacant sit at the middle row. To my surprise, the vacant sit was beside my crush. I praised the usher as I said to myself "today is my day of shooting shot".
To be honest, I wasn't able to focus on the sermon because I was constructing poet I was going to say to her. I had totally written a full book of how I was going to shoot my shot in my mind.
Occasionally, our eyes met at an intersection point and we both smiles at each other. "Hmm, I don catch this one finish", I said in my mind.
It was time for offering. The choir led us with a dancable song as the offering basket was passed. I checked in my bulletin and to my disappointment, my offering envelope was a transparent one. "Ah, another wahala", I said in my mind.
Why was I disappointed? I was disappointed because the only money I had on me was N50. How would I put this N50 without my crush seeing? I started calculating, using different mathematical formulas I was taught in my second year of my university level.
"All die na die jare", I said as I quickly deeped my offering into the basket and to my amazement, she didn't see what I dropped because she was busy snap chatting. "Now, I feel good", I said to myself.
At this point, service had come to an end. The youth pastor picked the microphone and said "All youths should wait for a brief meeting".
"For where, no be me una go spoil parol for", I said as I escaped through the second exit.
"For where, no be me una go spoil parol for", I said as I escaped through the second exit.
I quickly followed her out with my lines in my head. "Hello sister", I said. She stopped, looked at me, and continue walking. "Wait, abi she did not see me ni? Am I a spirit?" I said to myself.
I then tapped her right shoulder as she looked back and said "Mister man, why are you following me?". "I just want to talk to you", I replied. "Mister man, I don't have your time. I'm actually heading to an event. My uber driver is suppose to be here", she said as she walked away
I stopped following her as I went to greet my friends. I explained how my crush replied me and told them how disappointed I was.
After 5 minutes, I told them I had to get home because I was very hungry. Okay bosses, I'll see you guys during the week, I said as I left them.
On my way home, I saw this same lady (my crush), negotiating with an okada man. I was very confused because she did say she was waiting for her uber driver. "Wait, am I dreaming, abi my eyes no dey see well", I said to myself.
As I moved closer to her, I was convinced she was the one. She stopped another bike man, talked to him for a few seconds, well, I guess she was negotiating. The bike man nodded his head positively as he signalled her to climb. I was observing.
Meanwhile, this lady was wearing a tight skirt, so as she lifted her right leg to climb the bike, Lo and behold, all I heard was "FIIIIAAAAAMMMMM", her skirt tore. The expression from everyone around was like
I tried as much as possible not to laugh, but I couldn't just hold it. I really tried not to laugh, I really tried, but it came out as
Watch out for Episode 2
