Turns out Gritty has a gross purple belly button, and was therefore a live birth, not a lab-grown monstrosity like we all previously imagined.
In this thread, I’d like to propose my theory as to who Gritty’s parents might be.
In this thread, I’d like to propose my theory as to who Gritty’s parents might be.
First and foremost, the Phanatic is obviously Gritty’s dad. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar and should be pelted with D-cell batteries.
And really, the mystery could end here. We know nothing of Phanatic physiology or sexuality. Maybe it only takes one Phanatic to birth a Gritty.
But I don’t think so — I think Gritty has another dad, and I think he’s been hiding in plain sight. But before I tell you who I think that is, I want to talk about other likely candidates, and why I don’t think they’re the one.
Let’s start with the least likely: the Syracuse Orange. Syracuse’s working class bona fides and the color make it plausible, but there’s not much else by way of resemblance.
Next, this orange haired crazy-eyed monstrosity, Ribbie, formerly of the White Sox. Ribbie and the Phanatic were baseball as the same time, so a late night dugout excursion could have happened. But I don’t think Rib would do that to ‘ol Roobarb.
Our next candidate is Slyly, of the Hiroshima carp. The only one that could plausibly be the same species as the Phanatic, but not much else to go on. I’d expect more nose action from Gritty if these two got down.
Now, the first one that made me do a double take: Burnie, of the Miami heat. Strong color/shape match, deeply unsettling, but no hockey or baseball affiliation, so no way to meet Phanatic or get Gritty into hockey. Plausible, but I have two more that are better matches.
Here’s another highly, highly plausible candidate with no sports affiliation at all (he’s a drummer). But the size difference makes it a stretch.
So that’s who it’s (probably) not, time to talk about who it is. The mascot that did the dirty with The Phanatic to produce the hockey-playing hero of the proletariat we all know and love. I give you: Youppi!
The eyes, the body shape, the orange fur. It’s all there. Plus, Youppi! is deeply chaotic, just like his son: he’s the only mascot ever to be ejected from an MLB game.
Youppi! started his career as a baseball mascot (Expos), and then SWITCHED his allegiance in 2005 to hockey (Habs), making him the only orange monstrosity to have definitely interacted with the Phanatic AND played hockey. Case closed.
In conclusion: Gritty has two dads and they’re the Phanatic and Youppi! One of them gestated and birthed him via a gross purple umbilical cord, but both of their genetic material and personalities are clearly present. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
One interesting coda that I didn’t originally include because it ruins the fiction of these mascots doing sex: Youppi and the Phanatic were actually designed by the same woman, a former Henson Workshop employee named Bonnie Erickson
@romanmars and the @99piorg crew did a whole episode about Youppi and The Phanatic a few years ago, if you want to learn more non-joke things about mascot design. 99percentinvisible.org/episode/la-mas…
