UPA: Cool. Like a citizenship ID?
NN: Nope. Just an ID. No rights will be granted... But eventually... all citizen rights will be dependent on it! Get it?
UPA: Let there be an ID which will be created by a random attached office in the planning commission!
Activist: Wait. What?
UPA: Oh hey, Planning Comm is doing a lot of PLANNING for this, OK?
Babu: But saar we don't have majority in Rajya Sabha. They will block it only. We have already enrolled so many sheep... I mean citizens.
Modi Govt: Hm. Wait.
Govt: Yes we can.
Activists: Seriously? UPA screwed us and you are also doing the same thing?
Govt: Pretty much.
Activists: Sigh. See you in court.
Babu: But... court... uh...
Govt: Don't care. Didn't you hear me? MANDATORY FOR EVERYTHING!!!
Activists: That's because you have made it mandatory for EVERYTHING! WTF!
Govt: No it's because they see the benefits.
Activists: Um seriously?
Activists: Where are you getting these figures from?
Govt: Look at the corruption we are eradicating!
Activist: What is your methodology?
Govt: Look at these kids saying awesome things about Aadhaar!
Govt: Hey, Indian citizens don't have a right to privacy only!
Supreme Court: Actually... we set up a giant bench to decide this & turns out... they do.
Govt: Hey, we always said Indians had right to privacy! #EpicWin for us!
Activists: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?
Govt: Meaning, it's mandatory but voluntary!
Govt: Look at these savings...
Activists: PEOPLE ARE DYING YOU MORONS STFU!? Yo SC! Decide please. What the heck is happening!
UIDAI: Aadhaar data is safe. There is NO BREACH!
Media: Another case of data leakage...
UIDAI: NO BREACH!
Media: Biometrics copied in Gujarat. Aadhaar based scam happ...
UIDAI: NO BREACH! NO BREACH! NOOO!
RS Sharma: Hey Twitter, I just logged in, this is crazy, here's my number, hack me maybe!
Twitter: thanks! Here's your janm kundali! Enjoy.
RSS: No harm has come to me!
UIDAI: NO BREACH. But don't share your number publicly.
UIDAI: NO BREACH! And that's the old number. Meh.
Google: That's my bad actually. Sorry.
UIDAI: Their fault. Also, NOT BREACH NO BREACH AADHAAR DATA IS SAFE NO BREACH!
UIDAI: NO BREACH. Also, we will conduct secret camps to correct errors.
Activists: How many errors are there?
UIDAI: Who knows these things! We'll find out when these sheep come to us for corrections!
UIDAI: Yes. NO BREACH BTW. But take another layer of security: We shall make face recognition necessary for authentication. Did we say NO BREACH?
Activists: What if the photo is wrong...
UIDAI: Our job here is done!