Me : I have a pleasant 4 bed detached house with a garden in delightful village. For that, I could probably get a one bed run down flat in a shit heap in London. Nah ... not happening. I was born in London. I'm not going back.
X: Oh yes, many times.
Me : Sunderland, Wigan, Durham, Preston, Bolton, Yorkshire Dales?
X : No. Is there really a place called Bolton?
Me : Svalbard?
X : I was thinking more Madagascar
Me : Do you really want to get off the beaten track, go somewhere truly authentic and far from the madding crowd?
X : Yes
Me : Try Staithes
X : Where's that?
Me : I give up.