As salaam alaikum and welcome to the new followers. I'm Angelica, The Village Auntie. I am a Black woman, wife, mother, practicing Muslim and certified sexual health educator. I tweet about reconnecting to #TheWaysofOurForemothers through conversations around femininity and sex.
Everything that I do is from an Islamic perspective. I have over 18 years experience in the fields of education and public health. I have delivered health education sessions to hundreds of people in my job as a public health professional.
I have provided private sessions with friends concerned about reproductive health and sex-related matters since 2003. People would seek me out through underground channels in the community. My work as a Village Auntie was a closely guarded secret to preserve women's privacy.
My work began picking up when I moved to Jeddah in 2011. Word spread that I had traditional healing tools & practices to help women get the most out of marital intimacy. I soon found myself counseling women from US & expats from South Asia & the Arab world. It was like a flood.
I started an online group for women to be able to reach me directly. When I returned to the states, membership grew to over 175 women from KSA, Egypt, Nigeria, Senegal, Ghana, Pakistan, Sweden, UK, USA, Indonesia, and other undisclosed countries. There was an obvious need.
The group remained active but I soon became overwhelmed with the round-the-clock requests for answers to issues ranging from incest to marital rape and passing of STDs among plural marital partners. I put in place a format to only triage questions once per week.
The once-weekly format worked for a time but I soon began receiving DMs and WhatsApp notifications that became hard to manage. I sunk into a depressive episode, suffering under the emotional weight of knowing how deeply wounded my sisters in the ummah were. So I took a hiatus.
I continued teaching rites of passage classes to teenage girls, sometimes holding joint sessions with mothers and daughters. My work began to be visible again on social media. I knew that I'd have to restart my work as an auntie soon. Someone out there needed this information.
In the spring of 2018, @KameelahRashad were having a casual conversation when she mentioned that she was hoping that I'd submit a proposal for #BMPC2018 around women's sexual health. The theme for the conference was Love & Liberation. It was perfect, but I was scared.
I had never submitted to do my work on a conference level. I had only taught in living rooms, salons, small conference centers with intimate groups. But @KameelahRashad was certain that the message needed to be taken to a larger audience. So I agreed to submit an abstract.
But since I am the Queen of ProcrastiNATION, I missed the deadline. I got a few gentle reminders from Kam. On the last day of the extended deadline, she sent me this: 👀 I took it as code for "get it together, sis!" So I said "bismillah" and sent in my abstract.
The proposal was accepted and my workshop was sent out with conference promo material. @Habeeb_Akande was added to the list of presenters. I began to feel very nervous that my grassroots village-style education would not suffice in a conference setting. I was wrong.
The workshop was for women-only. I covered the windows with paper and posted someone outside to ensure that no men would enter. I stood in front of a room of 50+ women ages 15-80. And I went in. I didn't mince words. The room was quiet for most of the 75 min workshop.
I brought some of the tools that I use: bukhoor, lacy undergarments from Senegal, teas, jigida, etc. I dressed up one of the women and demonstrated one of the wedding rituals done in Senegal. The women seemed to enjoy it but were also still quiet. Until the end...
When I opened up for questions, many hands were raised. When I had to end the workshop, I was swarmed by women wanting to ask questions, raise concerns, get contact info. My hiatus was not only over, But The Village Auntie was also now above ground.
We started our online social media presence in July 2018. Since then, we have had thousands of engagements and interactions, numerous DMs, and multiple requests to take the #TVAMovement on the road. I'm coming, bi'ithnillah.
