When I went into labor with my first child, my water broke. It was just like in the movies except I didn't really feel any pain. I was talking on the phone and then a flood of water came out and I was like "oh...okay. I guess the baby is coming."
I drove myself to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and dawdled around the house for a bit before I told my husband that it was time to call the midwife. I was having contractions 90 seconds apart but I was fine. I have a VERY high tolerance for pain.
I prefaced the story with that tidbit bc folks always say "how did you not know it was time to go to the hospital?" My body doesn't work like that. I have really hard contractions but very short labors. Okay, so here goes...
My due date was 12/20. On the morning of 12/13, I woke up feeling "birthy",meaning I was cramping a bit and just feeling kind of ready. Woke up, prayed fajr, made breakfast for my two little ones, and settled down to watch TV and wait for my appt at 9 a.m.
I had been up since 4:30 a.m., so when my DH woke up at 7 and turned on a movie, I dozed off to the sound of the cowboys on screen having a shootout. Somewhere around 7:15, I woke up to a kick in the belly. My back was also hurting but I soon drifted back to sleep.
At about 8 am, I woke up feeling like I had eaten too much but I hadn't had anything. I felt really "full". I decided that I should get up and take a shower before heading over to the hospital. As soon as I stood up, my belly felt like it dropped. Definitely felt very "birthy"
I walked to my room to get a change of clothes and realized that I was having some pretty strong contractions. I stopped at the dresser to hold on while I breathed through one. I let my husband know that I was feeling strange but he just kept watching his movie because of course
I went to the shower and by this time, the contractions were coming about a minute apart. I didn't think I was in labor though because they were really painful but they didn't feel like they had during my previous 2 labors (I had totally forgotten that each labor is different)
While in the shower, I let the warm water run over my back and my legs. It felt good. My water still hadn't broken and there was no blood. I turned off the water and decided to go sit on the toilet because the contractions were really strong at this point. It was now 8:30 a.m.
I guess I must have let out a loud moan because my husband came to the door and peeked his head in. "You okay", he said? Nah. I think I might need to go have this baby. "Okay, let me get my shoes!" he said. Nope, I'm going to have this baby right here, I said. Him: 😶
I wasn't planning on having the baby at home and the hospital was only 5 minutes away, but while I was on the toilet, I had felt the baby's head begin to crown. He helped me up from the toilet seat (we can't birth babies in the loo!) and I went to the bedroom.
My husband insisted that I get dressed but I refused. Instead, I got down on the bed on all fours. It just felt good to feel the breeze from the ceiling fan on my bottom. I was completely naked. I wasn't writhing in pain, but I knew my body well enough to know that I was close.
He went to the other room to dial emergency services. I stayed on the bed and breathed. With each contraction, I would recite in my head, in English, "Allah will not burden a soul with more than it can bear." It helped me to focus.
My husband rushed back into the room just as I began to involuntarily push. I could feel the amniotic sac bursting and the baby's head emerging. It felt like a ring of fire. It hurt. It hurt a LOT. But I was too focused to worry about the pain. Her head was now stuck.
I had read countless books on natural childbirth (shoutout to Ina May Gaskin) so I knew that if my husband squeezed my hipbones together, it would allow my pelvis bones to shift open enough for the baby's head to release. I told him what to do. He just stood there, at first.
I told him again, calmly, to press the palms of his hands into my lower back and squeeze my hips together. He got down on the bed and did so. The baby's head popped out. But the rest of her was still inside. There was fluid and blood pooling on the bed.
By this time, I was completely spent. It was only 8:45 a.m. but I was so tired. The 15 minutes since I'd left the bathroom had been filled with contraction after contraction. I was too tired to push. He begged me. "Babe, please try."
I said bismillah and tried to push. Nothing happened. I took a few deep breaths and tried again. WOOSH!!! She dropped down onto the bed. I was still on all fours. My husband picked her up and passed her through my knees. She was still attached to the placenta.
I leaned up against the bed. I grabbed a blanket to cover us. I put her to my chest. Her face was slightly swollen from having been stuck but she was beautiful. And very tiny. I could hear the EMS workers enter the apartment.
In Jeddah, the EMS workers are actual doctors. When they came into the room and saw that I was only wearing a blanket, one of them knelt beside the bed, never looking at me, and cut the cord perfectly. He took the baby in a foil blanket to another room while I got dressed.
I couldn't stand up so I just kind of scooted out of the bed and put my nightgown on. The doctor/EMS driver came back in. I still remember his face. He was Egyptian with a bright smile. He said "subhanallah, this is just like American movie!"
The two men helped me to my feet and onto a gurney. My husband held the baby. We got down to the ambulance. All of my neighbors were outside. One of them helped load me and the baby onto the ambulance. One of my female neighbors stood & said "mashallah" over and over again.
In the ambulance, I was drifting in and out of consciousness. I had lost a lot of blood due to a 3rd degree tear that I had sustained (I had a 3rd degree tear with my first so this is not unusual). The doctor wanted to hear all about America and my birth story. He was so excited.
At the hospital, all of the nurses rushed to see the crazy American lady who had given birth in her home. They were so surprised that I was Black but that is a story for a different day. The baby went to triage to be examined. I was sewn up and taken to a private suite.
My daughter was 4 lbs. 7 oz. and completely healthy. She nursed with no problem and slept through the night the first night at the hospital. My colleagues filled my hospital room with chocolates and flowers. They made dua for us and brought us copious amounts of food.
I wouldn't suggest that anyone have an emergency homebirth the way that I did. I had two homebirths under my belt and had worked with many doulas so I knew what to do. Still, that birth was amazing and she will always have a great story to tell.
That birth taught me the strength of the female body, the awesome power of dua, and the reliance we must place on Allah. Childbirth can bring you very close to death and I had teetered very close to that edge. But Allah is Merciful and now we have a wonderful story to share.
