Thread by @PiaGlenn

And now, a few words on this Cardi & Offset sitch while I sit in the sun and body this fro-yo, because making the difficult decision to prioritize your joy over becoming collateral damage of a man's emotionally dysfunctional pageantry miiiiiiiight be slightly related to me moving

We're in a really precarious time in history. Toxic masculinity is being called to the carpet and anyone with sense wants cishet men to engage with their emotions more, lean into sensitivity, see how they're societally programmed; to do all the things they need to do to combat it

But at the same time, we're still so entrenched in patriarchy that modalities for men to functionally do so remain limited, and progress is compromised every time we have to address the ongoing antics of the Leaders of the Ashen Resistance to Progress and their minions

ALSO because we're still so patriarchal, most men have NO IDEA what true emotional labor looks like. They have no idea what it feels like to realize one day that you have been expected to raise a whole other adult, while getting no help with your own burdens, and call that "love"

So we have this new breed of the same old useless dude, who won't do the work and instead stays acting out inappropriately, lashing out and causing chaos, and when we point out the damage they cause, it's BUT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED MEN TO EXPRESS OURSELVES

orrrrrrr it's OK FINE YOU WANT ME TO DO BETTER THEN TEACH ME HOW

No. Full stop.

If we're in a mutually supportive relationship where we each learn and teach each other things? Yes. But I can't look after both my needs and yours while you alone benefit, and call that "love"

Men who won't put in the work like the Grand Gesture, the Big Declaration. I've had more than one man tell me "I'm sorry I ruined your life" and then go off and sulk.

I've never accused anyone of anything as dramatic as "ruining my life" & that statement is not a sincere apology

An apology includes changed behavior and acknowledges the harm done. Wtf does "ruined your life" even mean unless you are Sauron and I am Smeagol?

But Grand Gestures and Big Declarations don't concern themselves with the real meanings of things, do they? They avoid adult nuance

And most of all, a sincere apology CENTERS THE INJURED PARTY, not the injurer. Which brings me back to Offset, specifically. He let his agenda literally take center stage on what should've been her night

and people want to call that "love"

We've all been hoodwinked and bamboozled to believe that harmful elements from movie plots were "love." So how is it that I only see the women who suffer because of it actually learning this lesson and trying to live better??

We all know that hurt ppl hurt ppl. But in the context of a romantic relationship,how many times must someone have their shine dulled?

You hurt so now I have to hurt too because you aren't taking even one step to responsibly manage your pain?

Contagion of pain ain't love, bruh

Please note the context &"aren't even taking one step." I have never been in the business of condemning anyone for their emotional scars or difficulties and we can love and be loved with them,but u don't get to marinate in pain&make it your whole identity, repeatedly causing harm

Because yeah, this causes harm. We do not know the specifics of Cardi's full experience/POV,but she deserves better than having her show stopped by that mess.

It's a robbery. An actual theft of joy and achievement,with crowds demanding that she react with only an effusive "yes"

So that's how we end up with this growth-retardant clown Offset having fans and media outlets alike support him as he publicly dulls this woman's shine and calls it "love"

Whether Cardi and her husband do reconcile or not is none of my business.Professionally,I've been saying for actual yrs that I feel she doesn't have good ppl around her with experience in the biz,and her publicist's alleged involvement with the interruption is a testament to that

And I'm not here for men who are Offsetians cheering him on because "you know they're gonna get back together anyway." I have nothing invested in their personal future together but I know a man stealing a woman's shine when I see it and that's what I'm talking about

Let's say they do get back together, for reasons that only they know. That would be a semi-related occurrence to the public pressures that have been put on her, NOT justification for them

And through it all, the man who does not want to do better will view even the most sensible actions a woman takes to protect herself as a slight against him.

Remember kids, the villain is the most sympathetic character in the story they're telling themselves.

"You interrupting my grinding!"

-Lemonade, book 1 chapter 4

Alright, froyo been done. I see lots of my fave boos & also some new faces in my mentions, but lemme hop offline and savor the remaining sunshine on my first full day moving back to LA (yes that is an ice skating rink but idk if I'll skate lol) Spread love, not dysfunction!