Thread by @webmeadow

My dad died last night. I'm really sad.

Here are some things you should know about him:

He only agreed to sign the permission slip to my 6th grade dance if he was allowed to make modifications. He handed it back and there were two new bullet points:
* NO TATTOOS
* NO ENGAGEMENTS

We lived a block over from a local-famous chef. On Halloween he would stand behind me and stage-whisper directions like "HOLD OUT FOR TRUFFLES" or "DON'T TAKE THAT TWIX, WE'RE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT PARMA HAM"

He coached my sister's youth soccer team and gave them the name "NBI". You might reasonably ask, as many people did, what it stood for.

nothin
but
initials

He spent 35 years as an FBI agent doing counter-terror work. A few times a year he'd hie off to teach bomb school, where they'd blew up old cars and show the baby agents how to decode the wreckage to figure out what happened.

He arrested Ted Kaczynski at his cabin in Montana. Later that day, he broke his shoulder as they were evacuating the cabin because they found live pipe bombs under the bed.

He once flipped a white supremacist bank robber to become a state’s witness by promising the dude that if he cooperated, they would not tell his mom about the stash of girlie mags they found during the raid.

After he retired, he took a position as the head of security for Lucasfilm and ILM, safeguarding Star Wars premiers and chasing down ewok counterfeiters.

After he retired AGAIN, he performed security analyses for stadiums and power plants and water treatment plants to make sure they had actually-functional plans for how to protect their communities.

He loved being the only old guy in his yoga class. He loved getting massages and acupuncture. He loved, in his post-retirement life, getting monthly pedicures.

He was pretty great. I wish you got to know him.