Ok, I’m going to take a stab at this.
We’re only on day 2 of meds, so clearly this an evolving situation.
I’m kind of emotional, because OMG, so much crazy...
And I’m in a parking lot waiting for Christmas shopping kids, so I could be interrupted & have to come back later.
We’re only on day 2 of meds, so clearly this an evolving situation.
I’m kind of emotional, because OMG, so much crazy...
And I’m in a parking lot waiting for Christmas shopping kids, so I could be interrupted & have to come back later.
I’ll link to threads I’ve written that detail how ADHD, and other factors, have nearly devastated our lives at the end.
For now, I’ll try to be succinct and stick to ADHD symptoms and the immediate reactions to vyvanse.
For now, I’ll try to be succinct and stick to ADHD symptoms and the immediate reactions to vyvanse.
And apparently it’s my turn to take my daughter Christmas shopping, so I’m gonna have to come back later.
This kid takes all year to make decisions, so it could be a while 😂
This kid takes all year to make decisions, so it could be a while 😂
Well alright, yeah. That took awhile.
But now I have coffee and I’m alone with my thoughts and twitter, so let’s try this again.
To recap:
My husband has a dual diagnosis - ADHD & dyslexia. We sought diagnosis for the dyslexia in order to get reading & disability support...
But now I have coffee and I’m alone with my thoughts and twitter, so let’s try this again.
To recap:
My husband has a dual diagnosis - ADHD & dyslexia. We sought diagnosis for the dyslexia in order to get reading & disability support...
The ADJD was unexpected little bonus gift.
The severity & far-reaching effects of his dyslexia, even though expected, devastated both of us to a degree that made us incapable of truly absorbing the impact of the ADHD.
The severity & far-reaching effects of his dyslexia, even though expected, devastated both of us to a degree that made us incapable of truly absorbing the impact of the ADHD.
The psychologist really did nothing to stress or support the ADHD diagnosis, except to point me in the direction of Dr. Amen & suggest diet/lifestyle changes.
So for over a year after diagnosis, we continued to ignore the ADHD.
So for over a year after diagnosis, we continued to ignore the ADHD.
My husband’s ADD presents as over focused. Some of his symptoms include:
•closed loop thinking
•extreme hyperfocus, sometimes for long time periods
•during obsession or hyperfocus, he often displays extreme physical hyperactivity
•risk-taking behavior
•closed loop thinking
•extreme hyperfocus, sometimes for long time periods
•during obsession or hyperfocus, he often displays extreme physical hyperactivity
•risk-taking behavior
So what happened to snap me out of my apathy towards ADD & lack of knowledge of treatment options?
We bought a house.
But not just any ol’ house.
This thing is a Frankenstein monster.
It had potential, and my husband is handy. He begged & pleaded, drew up plans, convinced me.
We bought a house.
But not just any ol’ house.
This thing is a Frankenstein monster.
It had potential, and my husband is handy. He begged & pleaded, drew up plans, convinced me.
I agreed, against my better judgment.
So began my 2 year journey into homelessness & housing insecurity with small kids, parenting alone, and trying to keep my family alive.
That house ate my husband up.
He lived, breathed, ate, drank, thought nothing else.
So began my 2 year journey into homelessness & housing insecurity with small kids, parenting alone, and trying to keep my family alive.
That house ate my husband up.
He lived, breathed, ate, drank, thought nothing else.
It was a nightmare project, but a great deal of the nightmare came from a too-big dream and over estimation of his own skills.
Money went all to hell for a variety of reasons. Family relationships suffered.
My husband’s depression was crushing. I feared for his life.
Money went all to hell for a variety of reasons. Family relationships suffered.
My husband’s depression was crushing. I feared for his life.
I was hitting the end of my own endurance when I discovered @XianJaneway, and her bull-headed opinions on ADHD 😉
For the first time, I realized medication could make a life-altering difference.
For the first time, I realized medication could make a life-altering difference.
That was probably in May of this year?
Now I’m going to fast-forward to today, because this whole getting the medications prescribed thing was a shitshow.
We finally finished jumping through hoops, communicating with the psychologist, MD, pharmacy...
Now I’m going to fast-forward to today, because this whole getting the medications prescribed thing was a shitshow.
We finally finished jumping through hoops, communicating with the psychologist, MD, pharmacy...
And my husband took his first dose of vyvanse yesterday morning.
Saturday’s suck for us typically, because he doesn’t shift from work mode to home mode well. A normal Saturday involves him hyperfocusing on something to do with the ongoing house rehab & ignoring the kids.
Saturday’s suck for us typically, because he doesn’t shift from work mode to home mode well. A normal Saturday involves him hyperfocusing on something to do with the ongoing house rehab & ignoring the kids.
Side note: We live in the house now. It’s a safe haven for us and getting better every day. But that’s another story.
We have a 2yo and a 6yo.
Typically I try to keep them out from underfoot on Saturday, because he gets frustrated & annoyed with them.
Yesterday morning, my oldest daughter & I didn’t feel well.
So my husband took the little one outside to work on the porch.
Typically I try to keep them out from underfoot on Saturday, because he gets frustrated & annoyed with them.
Yesterday morning, my oldest daughter & I didn’t feel well.
So my husband took the little one outside to work on the porch.
Based on previous experience, I expected that to last about 15 minutes, and end with him angry & her crying.
Yesterday, thanks to vyvanse, he kept her happy & entertained all morning and was able to break free of his obsession (house project) to care for her as needed.
Yesterday, thanks to vyvanse, he kept her happy & entertained all morning and was able to break free of his obsession (house project) to care for her as needed.
He described his brain state yesterday as more scattered than usual... which makes sense.
I saw him switching between projects & needs, focusing on his family when they needed him, instead of hyperfocusing to the detriment of all else.
I saw him switching between projects & needs, focusing on his family when they needed him, instead of hyperfocusing to the detriment of all else.
I don’t know how to stress how much of a change this is.
We’ve been together for 12 years, married for 11.
I’ve never seen him so capable of expressing his thoughts & emotions.
Never seen him set his own project aside, even momentarily, to care for someone else.
We’ve been together for 12 years, married for 11.
I’ve never seen him so capable of expressing his thoughts & emotions.
Never seen him set his own project aside, even momentarily, to care for someone else.
That’s not to say he’s selfish on a normal basis.
Just not capable of seeing needs until they hit him in the face.
Just not capable of seeing needs until they hit him in the face.
A small illustration that’s happened repeatedly in our lives:
If he’s talking to someone, he will not answer the phone.
And he loses track of time, so he may be talking to someone for 2 hours after work and not think to let me know why he’s not home.
If he’s talking to someone, he will not answer the phone.
And he loses track of time, so he may be talking to someone for 2 hours after work and not think to let me know why he’s not home.
Shifting between conversations is impossible, so he doesn’t do it.
Let’s say he gets home from work, and he’s on the phone. One of his daughters runs to tell him hi... and he ignores them. As if they didn’t exist.
Not business calls... friends & family. Who would understand.
Let’s say he gets home from work, and he’s on the phone. One of his daughters runs to tell him hi... and he ignores them. As if they didn’t exist.
Not business calls... friends & family. Who would understand.
He’s not capable of stopping a conversation, greeting his child, & returning to the conversation. So he doesn’t do it.
Until now.
The vyvanse allows him to shift between conversations & projects without losing the thread.
Until now.
The vyvanse allows him to shift between conversations & projects without losing the thread.
Today, out shopping with kids, he was able to answer kid questions & then continue his conversation with me...
This doesn’t happen.
Deep conversations have always had to happen in a quiet environment with no major distractions.
This doesn’t happen.
Deep conversations have always had to happen in a quiet environment with no major distractions.
I woke up this morning to find he’d happily taken his vyvanse and set out to clean the house, with the kids’ help.
This makes me want to cry because... goddamn it, it’s not like he’s never helped.
But this was a whole new level.
This makes me want to cry because... goddamn it, it’s not like he’s never helped.
But this was a whole new level.
Picking up toys, organizing spaces, finding homes for things... he’s never done that.
Typical cleaning for him involves throwing everything in a pile and finding a hiding spot. And then giving the place a lick & a promise.
Not today.
Typical cleaning for him involves throwing everything in a pile and finding a hiding spot. And then giving the place a lick & a promise.
Not today.
Today he’s the captain, marshaling & commanding his loyal troops.
Applying all the organization theory I’ve tried to teach him over the years that never seemed to stick.
God, don’t talk to me about diet changes, non-toxic methods, lifestyle changes.
Applying all the organization theory I’ve tried to teach him over the years that never seemed to stick.
God, don’t talk to me about diet changes, non-toxic methods, lifestyle changes.
I know we just started vyvanse. He had difficulty sleeping last night. There will be other side effects.
But.
I was ready to throw in the towel. This PROVES there is a LITERAL, PHYSICAL issue with this man’s highly creative brain.
But.
I was ready to throw in the towel. This PROVES there is a LITERAL, PHYSICAL issue with this man’s highly creative brain.
He told me last night that I’ve taught him to be self-sufficient.
That when we got married, he needed someone he could depend on. He knew he needed carried.
I’ve given him something else... his independence.
I honestly didn’t think he’d ever recognize that.
That when we got married, he needed someone he could depend on. He knew he needed carried.
I’ve given him something else... his independence.
I honestly didn’t think he’d ever recognize that.
This thread is goddamn long and rambling. And honestly, I just wanna go cuss & cry in private now.
He told me he can tell he’s a better dad this weekend...
Holy fuck, yes.
He told me he can tell he’s a better dad this weekend...
Holy fuck, yes.
This thread talks about ADHD & our kids...
More about the house story...
I'm looking for more threads on my husband's ADHD & dyslexia, and I'll add those here.
This is what I was looking for.
How I often feel...
