Five more hours in Eastern Standard Time. We can do this, people! Hold the line, years are most dangerous when they have nothing left to lose!
Three more hours! I’m hearing reports that the dread year has been defeated over much of the globe! We can do this!
One hour left! We’re loosening that jar lid for you, American Samoa!
Fifteen minutes! Prepare the champagne cork artillery! The year-beast is passing overhead!
Five minutes! It’s right over top of us! I can see the...oh, hmm, 2018 has a cloacal vent. Well, that’s awkward.
And 2018 is in retreat! It’s over to you now, Central Standard Time!
