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The Wombat Resists @UrsulaV
, 7 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
KEVIN: You want to watch what?
KEVIN: Wait, is this the Kon Mari woman?
KEVIN: ....
*five seconds into show*
KEVIN: OH JESUS SHE’S ADORABLE
Ok, episode 1, and the couple sniping at each other is already making me deeply uncomfortable.
Ok, I am marginally sympathetic to the guy bellowing “DOES A BIN FULL OF HANGERS BRING YOU JOY?!”

Man, we’re at a weird cultural moment.
This is not changing my strong desire to dropkick this dude into the sun.
We have decided to skip to Episode Two and leave that couple behind.
Kevin cannot handle the animism. Meanwhile, left alone long enough, I would anthropomorphize a sock.
ME: *sits bolt upright* I FIGURED IT OUT
KEVIN: Eh?
ME: You can’t stand to think of everything as living because you’re afraid you’ll have to give them all walkies and mealworms!
KEVIN: ...please god not more pets.
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More from @UrsulaV see all

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That dark moment when you finally check the post office box and at least one of the packages definitely has a stuffed goat in it.
ME: Open that package and tell me if it’s a goat, will you?
TEEN: It is not a goat.
ME: Really?
TEEN: It’s a llama.
ME: ....
TEEN: It’s kind of adorable, actually.
...and a goat cookie cutter...
Read 5 tweets
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Why have I never heard of Cangrande Della Scalla before?! Why did I spend so much time in history class reading the Crucible when it was freaking ergot, end of story, and there was a charming Italian warlord yanking arrows out of his own wounds in battle?
AND THEN HE HAD AN ENLIGHTENED TAX POLICY
I honestly don’t believe there’s any overarching conspiracy to nearly anything, but “Let’s make history curriculums boring so kids don’t read it and then discover Very Upsetting Things” would be a really slick bit of social engineering.
Read 3 tweets
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My friend, I appreciate your attempt to get her into your hobbies, but reading the history of githyanki aloud to a woman who has not looked up from her phone and is no longer even grunting is acknowledgement...
I mean, I’ve written actual fanfic that included githyanki and even I am drifting off.
Start with something fun! Dragons! Orcs!
Read 12 tweets

Related threads

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#MAGA, Conservatives, Christians, I am about to give you tons of ammo in the form of pure, Christian truth, to smoke Liberal, Commie, Leftists who tell YOU what it is to be Christian. Let's set them straight, once and for all.
All credit due to the late, great Pastor Sheldon Emry: keep this link handy for online and irl comebacks. And give it to your Judaized clergy when they start talking CRAP about immigration, and loving our enemies, and the enemies of Christ.
SHOULD CHRISTIANS LOVE THE WICKED? ia801309.us.archive.org/17/items/Shoul…
Read 214 tweets
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oh goooood it's just what I always wanted OKAY LET'S GET THIS TERRIBLE PARTY STARTED -R
ooh boy we are in for a ride -R
maaaaan, remember when picollo was like “holy fuck, goku’s not just some weird kid, he’s literally an alien? and I am also an alien? and I knew NONE of this? this is such a humbling and humanizing moment for my character”

DBE says FUCK THAT GIANT MONKEY WORKS FOR PICOLLO NOW

-R
Read 68 tweets
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oh fuck concept: bakugou has internalized homophobia and is in love with kirishima and he KNOWS it's okay like he doesnt hate kirishima for being gay or any of his other friends for being lgbt+ but he hates it IN HIMSELF. and now he's fallen for kirishima HARD and has--
no fucking idea how to go about it. he literally cannot even look at him without wanting to scream. he just starts straight up avoiding all of his friends. he knows he has plenty of people he could talk to about this but he won't because He's Him.
he lashes out at kirishima when he gets confronted about the avoidance and that just makes it worse and bakugou straight up wont look at him for like 2 weeks. the whole squad is really upset over it bc they know smth is wrong but he's a bitch and wont talk about his problems
Read 34 tweets
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Ok, so, my musings. I don't believe that leagues really understand what logistics their head officials/equivalents have to do in order to staff games or scrims #derbytwitter
Bearing in mind that often leagues cancel or change plans to suit the skaters, but officials are usually last to know about this. And they're normally a disparate group, not an actual team of people, like the skaters #derbytwitter
So, you're told about a game/scrim etc, (hopefully with more than a months notice) and you ask in your league for anyone who wants to officiate. You have maybe a handful of rookies/injured skaters who could NSO #derbytwitter
Read 9 tweets
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Ok, here goes.

For every one 'like' this tweet gets I'll write one tweet celebrating men - I think we read enough nonsense that cuts them down.

Now, if you crazy people go over 100 it'll take time ... but let's see what we can do FOR MEN. :)

Go!
HOLY SHIT I'M AT 87 ALREADY.
You bastards.
lol

1. Men are natural protectors and defenders.
2. Men are fathers, and without fathers, our families aren't quite ever whole.
Read 251 tweets
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Khamenei Wild Animals under the name of Ethical or moral Police do like this with Iranian girls and women every day. What do you think the response of these criminals is?
Pls share
#FreeIran #Iran #HumanRights
A painful scene!...
The mullahs regime have turned Iran to a hell for Iranian women
These measures will lead to the Iranian Uprising.
#FreeIran #Regimechange
This is the regime forces brutal behavior with the people of #Iran
Accepting Zarif is tantamount to legitimizing the suppression of the #Iranian,s #women.
#IranProtests #RegimeChange #FreeIran
@realDonaldTrump @nikkihaley @StateDept @usmissiongeneva @statedeptspox
Read 29 tweets

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