Thread by @zara915

I had a very long day so as a form of Twitter therapy I wanted to share a story about @rihanna and the time we used a public restroom together.

Rihanna came to an event she was scheduled to speak at just over a year ago. She late. She was very late. (for the record: she can be late, she’s Rihanna, and she was wearing Margiela.)

Rih really needed to pee when she arrived. I told her we could take her to the private restroom upstairs. Nope. Too far. She was going to use the closest one. The public restroom.

Extremely nervously and in a full internal spiral, I lead her to the women’s restroom, knowing there was going to be a lot of women in there because the attendees were waiting for her to close the day out and taking a break from sitting in the room idly until she started.

Sure enough, a line. Oh god, this is bad. No security. Just *Zara and Rihanna* heading into a public ass restroom packed with Navy of varying degrees — but all definitely Navy.

The women were so slow to realize what was happening — just from the pure shock. Once things registered, I swear to God I’ve never heard noises emitted from women’s bodies like that. Imagine something I can only describe as something between screaming, crying, joy, and confusion?

Rihanna was *not* gonna skip the line. She waited!!!!! She made small bathroom like talk!!!!! She’s just like that except way hotter, richer and better smelling!!!! A real woman’s woman!!!!

This was a very small bathroom. Three stalls. Maybe four. She was waiting for a stall to open up and I’ll never forget the woman who opened the stall door and her mouth dropped. Rihanna was standing there. *Waiting to use the toilet she just used*

Rihanna, without skipping a beat, looking directly at this very shocked woman, in her extremely Rihanna way, says “I hope you didn’t take a shit girl!!!!!”

KssjxkmesoaxmneisoqkdnnxskoqI...😭

The woman is dead now probably idk how you live after that.

She came out and washed her hands. She used the lotion (I didn’t know people *actually* used the lotion dispenser after washing their hands!!! I do it now because Rihanna did it then and I’m trying to emulate rich successful behaviors)

The dispenser was malfunctioning because it realized it was in the presence of Rihanna. She had too much lotion on her hands.

She said “Give my your hands. You’re ashy sis!!!!”

She rubbed her beautiful, tattooed, perfectly manicured hands on on my hands.

I couldn’t stop looking at our hands intertwined. I didn’t even bother to look up. Time stopped.

She was gone before I knew it.

my soundcloud is DONT EVER FORGET THE WAY THIS XENOPHOBIC, HOMOPHOBIC, RACIST PRESIDENT DESTROYED THE MANTLE OF THE PRESIDENCY AND HELPED A FOREIGN ADVERSARY STEAL THE ELECTION SO MAKE SURE YOURE REGISTERED TO VOTE AT YOUR MOST RECENT AND CURRENT ADDRESS COME 2020