Thread by @amywithlemon

Parents. For the love of god, know your kids passwords, collect their phones frequently, and monitor their social media accounts and messaging.

- A school admin who knows more than you about what they are being left to navigate alone when you “respect their privacy”.

Should you give your kids some freedom and privacy? Yes. Around 15ish, if you’ve been very involved, and with a gradual release model.

Before then, if you aren’t involved, you may as well be letting them wander the streets at night w/ peers you really don’t know.

What do I know, right?

I only have to respond to kids being anxious/depressed or in unsafe situations due to social media...at least 2-3 times a week.

I have abt 1000 teenagers. I know their daily lives and social media.

How many do you have? How much do your really know?

Sure, you know _your_ kid.

But I’ve lost track of the times parents “knew” when they didn’t.

And I can guarantee this: you don’t know the other kids. Or those pretending to be kids. Or what they are all mingled in when in their messaging.

How many messaging apps does your child have? How aware are you of their messages, DMs, group chats - across _multiple_ social media apps? Because they use a lot of them.

Think I’m being hyperbolic?

I. Have. 1000. Students.

I know what I’m talking about.

So, what _can_ you do?

Don’t let your kid dictate their media use. Have a policy that you can check it whenever you want. Work on establishing trust and keep engaged. Be kind. Know they are navigating a lot on their own even when you ARE involved.

Talk to your school admins.

I’ve intervened numerous horrific bullying situations, situations where kids didn’t know who they were being manipulated by, and situations where kids didn’t realize the gravity of their choices - all bc a parent talked to me. It helps not just their kid - but others as well.

Do you worry others might know you spoke up abt something to the school?

I promise you that if your kid is dealing w/ something over social media - they aren’t the only one impacted. Sometimes parents have helped further confirm what we already were trying to address.

Final thought:

Remember the crap you had to navigate on your own during your teens that your parents often didn’t know about?

Multiply it EXPONENTIALLY for your child now due to social media. Now invite into your home. And add predators you can’t see.

Have a nice day. Namaste.

Nah, one more ‘little’ thing to help you grasp what I see often:

1: But he’s friends w/ my friend online. He’s safe.
2: But he’s friends w/ my friend online. He’s safe.
3: But he’s friends w/ my friend online. He’s safe.

Kids don’t get this game. And if you don’t: you need to.

Teens are desperately looking for peers to affirm them. And there are plenty of ppl -young and old- willing to take advantage of their vulnerability online bc they simply enjoy the chaos (or want to sexualize them).

Think of this next time you see your kid on their phone.

/fin

Parents will monitor who is a registered sex offender w/in a 1 mile radius of their neighborhood and warn their kids to avoid them but not even REALIZE the internet makes that radius _infinite_, unknowable, untraceable, and with little to no oversight.

Ok now I’m done...
Because I have to be.

I could go on on this forever and not run out of things I’ve seen or things I’ve had to intervene.

Talk to your kids. Take their phones away at night and often. Monitor them. It isn’t just scary stuff. It’s also peer issues. Help them.