Thread by @LeboLion_SA

Let me tell you a story about living within your means:

My first car was a Mercedes Benz that my parents gave me when I started varsity. As a first year student I felt pressure to make friends. So in order to gain acceptance, I let my “friends” use me for lifts etc.

A Thread.

I also felt bad that I had that car so I would be overly generous with my things just to gain acceptance from my peers, so that they can see that I’m a good person who is humble and down to earth.

That didn’t work (which I realized later in life) because when people have decided on your character there’s nothing you can do to change it.

Then to make things worse I had to get side jobs just to maintain the mother Theresa image of driving people around for free. A Mercedes petrol tank is no joke!!!. I found myself tutuoring on the weekends & working at parties on the weekends. None of my “friends” knew this becoz

they were never around when I was facing real life problems

All of this juggling affected my studies and I couldn’t take the pressure anymore so I transferred to another university where I thought I could start a fresh and learn to focus on myself and my studies.

Luckily for me ,this worked out for me.

Eventually,when I could afford to, I decided to buy my own car that I could afford to take care of. I bought a second hand Yaris. I still have it to this day.

Instead of celebrating my brave decision the last handful of friends I had from my previous life thought it would be better if they mocked me for “downgrading”.

They held it over my head like the privilege I had in the past was a bad thing that made them feel inadequate. As if now it’s their turn to make me feel inadequate despite the kindness and friendship I had showed them in the past

Since the day I bought the Yaris I have not even asked my parents for R10. I’ve even gone on to buy another car and own my own property BUT it wasn’t an easy journey at all. I lost 99% of my friends in the process of achieving independence. All of this happened before I turned 24

This very tough period of my life taught me:
1. To be very selective with the people I choose to call “friend”.
2. Not to create a life based on other people’s approval.
3. Not to be ashamed of anything I have or don’t have.
4. That I deserve every good thing that is for me

5. To live within my means no matter what others may have to say
6. Financial independence is so powerful & liberating, but it doesn’t come easily. It involves hectic sacrifice.
7. Take care of myself before others
8. That I’m strong and resilient.

9. There’s no challenge I cannot overcome.
10. Things like cars are a financial drain. Having the fanciest car is never a necessity.

Moral the story: Living within your means helps you build a life you can be proud of, at your own pace in your own way.

I used to blame myself for not being smart enough to see what was happening. Now I’ve learned not to blame myself for the past. Life looks very different when you’re in it and it’s happening as opposed to when you look back it. Plus I’ve learned invaluable lessons.

Lastly, I know that this going to sound terrible but don’t surround yourself with people who are not on your level. Friends who can’t afford what you can OR friends who don’t have similar goals, discipline to you and friends who don’t root for you. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Im sharing my story because I wish there had been accounts or people whose stories I could have learned from when I was going through what I was going through in my early 20s. I don’t think that the constant upkeeping of a perfect image helps people at all.

You’d be surprised to know that even very accomplished adults in their 30s and 40s are still battling with learning how to not feel guilt for what they have, not being overly giving, making beneficial friendships & learning not to seek acceptance from others.
Life is tough.

Tutoring during the week*

If you’re going to be mad that my parents gave me an expensive car, then you’re missing the whole point of this thread.

Your story and your privilege or lack thereof are not mine. Let me tell my story. It is just as valid as yours.

And when you live within your means it forces you to surround yourself with people who either like you or hate you for who you are not what you have.

Note the “OR”. If your friend has ambition and you believe in them and yourself, then you know that you’re both headed towards something positvetly different from the present. Be with friends you can grow with and move forward with.

It’s not only about money, it’s about priorities, vision, life plans, who you want to be.

Side note: I guess people’s mentality was: how can a girl who is driving a fancy car not have a lot of money??? Obviously she has a lot of money. Unfortunately I felt the pressure to seem like I’ve got it together in some way.

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