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No kidding, but my son has been as school for exactly ONE TERM and this has already happened about 9 times.
I am going to write a recipe for something that you can make 25 portions of in 5 minutes that can keep unrefrigerated for 8 hours and contains no dairy, nuts or eggs. I don't know what it is yet but I will make it work for the good of us all.
It will also fit in a standard Tupperware, cost less than $10 in ingredients, weigh less than 1 kg for transport, and be able to survive a bus ride in a school backpack without destroying its integrity. I GOT YOU ON THIS PARENTS.
OK, this is what I came up with this afternoon - Fat Pocky. 
You're going to need:
25 plain breadsticks - $2.50
375g dark chocolate - $2.50
a pack of sugar strands or nonpareil - $2
TOTAL: $7.00
25 plain breadsticks - $2.50
375g dark chocolate - $2.50
a pack of sugar strands or nonpareil - $2
TOTAL: $7.00
Just microwave the chocolate for 1 minute, then blasts of 30 seconds until it's melted. Probably 3-4 minutes all up.
Put the chocolate into a glass and the just dunk the bloody things in there.
Shake off as much chocolate as you can. You'll need to top up the glass with a teaspoon or so of chocolate every 2-3 sticks. Then lay them on a tray of baking paper.
Yes, they'd look more like Pocky if there was more chocolate but that's not really the point is it. I'd prefer my kids ate less chocolate and frankly if they're mostly eating a breadstick I DO NOT CARE. I NEED YOU TO FOCUS.
Then you're just scattering them with some sprinkles.
This is where you end up after about 10 minutes of dunking and sprinkling. Of course, if you get the kids to do them themselves this will take YOU zero minutes. You can even make them fancier if you want. For example...
Here are some covered with gold in case your kids go to a private school...
Here are some that look like people. They sell these in the baking aisle of a regular supermarket like it's no big deal.
Here are some covered with dried mango that you can put on Instagram so that people don't judge you. The white chocolate doesn't stick very well so I'd kind of avoid that if you're on a schedule.
Here's one that looks like a mummy idk
And here's the whole gang in a Tupperware that your kid will somehow lose even though they spend the entire day in ONE ROOM. Total weight = 400g (including Tupperware).
This wasn't quite done in 5 minutes but no kidding start to finish it's probably 10 minutes all up (including the microwaving time) if you just go for the dip'n sprinkle option. Hope this helps.
Oh, I forgot. You end up with a full glass of melted chocolate. Just pour that onto a sheet of baking paper and spread it out. Wait for it to harden then break it up and put it in a ziploc bag for next time.
