Thread by @feministlib

Still thinking this morning about white (often straight, cis) women in #romance. A crucial lesson all of us must learn in order to do effective anti-oppression work in our daily lives is that to the extent we feel comfortable and comforted in exclusive spaces, ... 1/

... our comfort is crafted by exclusion.

Gonna say this again: Our comfort is crafted by exclusion.

And that should make us uncomfortable. And, ultimately, it should make it impossible for us to feel comforted by those spaces. 2/

(IMPORTANT CAVEAT: "exclusive space" in this context does not mean exclusive of people who make a space unsafe through violations of codes of conduct. I'm talking about exclusive spaces built upon us/them, privileged/marginalized dynamics.) 3/

An example from my own childhood: I grew up unchurched/agnostic in an intensely white, mainline Protestant to evangelical Christian community. A lot of people felt like they belonged in that space. It felt comfortable, comforting to them. 4/

But what felt comforting, comfortable, familiar to many required that they privilege those feelings of belonging in familiar ways over the feelings of those who felt that form of community unwelcoming at best, actively hostile at worst. 5/

We have a choice to make when we confront the reality that something that makes us feel safe, nourished, loved, is built upon unsafety, neglect, and rejection of others. Do we cling to what (once) made us feel comfort -- knowing it does violence to others -- 6/

Or do we open ourselves up to new (and more durable, robust) ways of belonging? Ways built upon a foundational ethic of messy inclusivity that does not privilege our comfort over the well-being of others? 7/

If you're a straight, white, cis lady whose feeling of territorial comfort in #romancelandia is never having to read about people who aren't straight, white, cis falling in love and getting the HEA that is right for them ... 8/

Well, that's... a choice you can make. As a reader. I don't recommend it because you'll miss a lot of joy. But. Whatever. You aren't required (except if you review! professionally! then it's your job!!). 9/

But you don't get to claim you need ALL OF #ROMANCELANDIA to cater to your particular flavor of comfort reading. Or rather, if you do make the case for that explicitly or implicitly yes, you are actively upholding the white supremacist heteronormative patriarchy. 10/

And I don't feel sorry for fighting to take that brand of comfort away from you (from all of us) because the price is too damn high. We should reach for greater joy. 11/11