Profile picture
Paul F. Tompkins
@PFTompkins
, 6 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
I have no idea what this movie is and I don’t want anyone to ever tell me
It is with heavy heart that I announce that I have had to mute Ed Helms
Shoutout to the people who have to tell me that Ed got the director’s name wrong, you are true cinephiles in that you have mental problems
I remember when this movie came out and people talked a lot about the running time and nothing else
I will never see this movie
Please have my headstone read

PAUL F. TOMPKINS
1968- 2031
HE NEVER SAW THE 1998 FILM
“MEET JOE BLACK”
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Paul F. Tompkins
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @PFTompkins see all

Profile picture
Paul F. Tompkins
@PFTompkins
Lot of experts on “trying out material” have found voice of late
“I’m working on this bit where I sound like an ignorant bully BUT after I have finished the bit it will not sound like that at all, I bet. You gotta trust the process.”
“Look, here’s how comedy works: the actual premise is THE LAST thing that comes into place.”
Read 7 tweets
Profile picture
Paul F. Tompkins
@PFTompkins
“I'm saying, Come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?”
“Ever since my grade school days, as I mastered the art of 'faking sick' and I stumbled across 'The View,' I've been confusedly asking myself the same question... How do these dumb broads remain gainfully employed?”
“The children now... show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”
Read 6 tweets
Profile picture
Paul F. Tompkins
@PFTompkins
Please sign my petition to have Macy’s add a Mucinex Mucus Man balloon to their parade
This guy is okay, but not a fun phlegm goblin? Come on
I actually feel guilty now, look how sad he he looks. He is HAUNTED.
Read 4 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
🕇🇺🇸 A Anon 🕵💯
@AAnon_QArmy
(1)QARMY🕵So you #think the #QArmy is just a bunch of #people sitting at the #computer doing nothing?

You dont think of us as #DigitalSoldiers?

Do you think we are wasting our #time and not doing anything to help?

If so then please keep reading this #Thread

⬇READ ALL or 🤐⬇
(2)🕵The first thing you have to understand is the #RippleEffect. When you find a #Fact, you share it. Now the #information has a starting point. Everyone is a starting point for someone.

👥 👥
👥👥 👥👥
👥👥🕵👥👥
👥👥👥👥
👥👥

We think #info is important!⬇
(3)🕵It can take a very long time to find all the facts about something. Hours and hours of digging.

#Imagine if you were being told #lies about everything going on and no one was willing to take time out of their day to #find the #Truth. No #Opposition! No one watching them!⬇
Read 16 tweets
Profile picture
the pee tape christmas special
@makeitsnowondem
its tuesday night baby. youknow what that means. its time to take precisely one shot of whiskey and lead a wagon train to oregon
this is the story of how i led a wagon train to the far-off paradise of, uh, the middle of fucking oregon
or more likely, how we all drowned face down in a foot-and-a-half-deep river crossing
Read 215 tweets
Profile picture
Ask An Entomologist
@BugQuestions
It is with a heavy heart that we announce that one of our colleagues, Vazrick Nazari, has been arrested for possession of child pornography.

We cannot tolerate exposing our followers to this sort of person, and have blocked him from our feed.

ottawacitizen.com/news/local-new…
We did consult him for help with moth IDs here on Twitter, and although there's no way we could have known he was doing this, we still feel the need to apologize for exposing our readers to-and let's just put it as bluntly as possible-an alleged child predator.
We try to be careful about who we consult, and let into our conversations.

Unfortunately, it's not always possible to know what's going on behind the scenes.

Needless to say, we will not be requesting any more assistance from this person.
Read 4 tweets
Profile picture
Astead
@AsteadWesley
it is with a heavy heart that i announce to the TL that i am v pro mayo
i have seen the slander for 48 hours and i just couldn't take it anymore. particularly to those in the AfAm mayo community, know that i stand with you
mayonnaise brands keep @ing me pls send help
Read 4 tweets
Profile picture
Fabiana Cecin 🏴 🌹
@fabianacecin
People don't understand why legal systems exist and how they work. People understand simple moralist narratives, and they resist any side-channel information, anything slightly odd about their stories that might have woken them up to complexities they are choosing to ignore.
In the end, people as a whole live to reinforce their simple world narratives. That's why framing a political opponent as an "atheist" or "witch" in a theocracy works; why framing someone as a "socialist" in the US works and why framing someone as "corrupt" in Brazil works.
Witness the extensively Wikileaked professional organizations that run these propaganda/PR campaigns for the ruling powers.

Doesn't matter. People turn on the TV and they play to the soap opera.

Dominating an entire population by playing to their fears? Easy as pie.
Read 32 tweets
Profile picture
Seal It With A Smile
@Sealwithsmiles
Applying a business model to the growth and development of children has hurt and demoralized education

Competition does not work because the true stakeholders (children, families, society) profit from the emotional and psychological work done in the classroom, when done well...
... Yet 600B is spent in the US on #ed and thousand of companies make heavy profits.

While at the same time, teachers must find extra income to make ends meet, some live barely above the poverty line, and teacher turn over costs 1B a year

Meaning a highly specialized...
... workforce, that can make huge changes and gains in the lives of the 50mil children that are in the public education system, that have the emotional and psychological experience to support the growth of a nation

gets passed over for the TRUE work that they perform...
Read 6 tweets

Trending hashtags

#Anons #JUDGES #profoundly #IWD2019 #TRUMP #tears #suicide #Smears #RICO #InternetBillofRights #people #9PMRoutine #WeFightAsOne #US #Hollywood #LevelLoad #recovery #guilt #nightmares #blessyourhearts #politics #Triggers #CrimesSaudia #chumpchange #Early
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!