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Last year, my husband and I were in Birmingham, AL, scouting potential locations for his psychiatry practice. I was charmed by how hospitable and beautiful the city was...at first. After spending a few days there, I knew it was not a place I would ever want to raise our kids...1/
We were parents of a very demanding baby and excited to be away, just the two of us, for a few days. I had not been on birth control post-partum as I had wanted for my body and my hormones to recalibrate and heal, free of medication. A personal choice and not one made lightly. 2/
On the third child-free night, we probably had too much wine and a lovely dinner—Birmingham has a stellar culinary scene—and we did what two consenting adults in love, on a kid-free weekend do... 3/
The next day I woke up with incredible anxiety. I could not fathom having another child, or even caring for the one I have while being pregnant. Pregnancy is hard, under the best of circumstances, but I had an incredibly difficult pregnancy. And being a Mom is even harder... 3/
So I asked my husband, on the way to meet with a realtor the next morning, to take me to CVS so I could get Plan B. We talked about it all morning, and agreed that having another child at that moment was not right for our family, as was our lawful privilege. 4/
It was a difficult choice in the best of circumstances, so I can’t imagine what it’s like to have suffered trauma and been forced into having to make that decision. He held my hand the whole way to the drugstore, and walked with me into the pharmacy. I was trembling. 5/
I told the pharmacist that I wanted Plan B. He couldn’t have been nicer. He told me how to take it, what I could expect to happen to my body, and told me to call should I have any questions. Then he sent me to the front of the store to check out. 6/
The woman at the register took my basket, filled with Aleve, bottles of water, a new lipstick, and the prescription pack for Plan B. She looked us over, up and down. And then paged the pharmacist over the PA system. 7/
“Could the pharmacist please come to the front to ring up these Baby Killers.” Y’all. I have never been filled with so much shame, rage, and abject horror. I felt my face get hot and I immediately felt like I was going to faint. My husband clutched my whole body... 8/
At the time I thought it was to keep me from falling to the floor. In hindsight, it was probably to keep him from jumping across the counter. The pharmacist raced to the front, sent her outside, and tried to apologize—as horrified as we were about what had just transpired. 9/
He gave us the corporate number. He apologized profusely. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. We walked into the parking lot and were greeted by the awful woman. She made sure I knew what kind of woman she thought I was. I’m a tough lady, but I was terrified. 10/
We quickly rushed into the car, locked the doors and peeled out of the parking lot before both of us were in tears. How could this woman hate two strangers she never met for making a sound and safe medical decision in the best interest of their family? I took the pills. 11/
I told my husband to call the real estate agent and cancel our home search and to call the airlines and change our flight so we could leave that afternoon. I would not—could not—live in such a place. 12/
Now I’m smart enough to know that one bad apple shouldn’t spoil the bunch, and I’m sure Alabama is chock full of lovely people, but they are surrounded and represented by a group of indecent people who think this kind of behavior is not only okay but their duty. 13/
Today, more than ever, I realize that we made the best decisions for our family that day—the decision to take that pill and the decision to leave Alabama and not return. On Monday, I am selling back my Mom Mercedes as they are based in AL... 14/
And on the way to the dealership I will swing by the post office with a box of wire hangers addressed to Governor Kay Ivey. She has bred a population that thinks this kind of behavior is appropriate. 15/
I’m a thirty something married mom and Alabama scared the shit out of me. I can’t bear the thought of what it will do to children and victims of sexual trauma. Shame on you, Kay Ivey. I hope an enormous tide of shame rolls right over you. /end
Just as an aside for those feigning outrage that I got a woman fired: Her boss heard her call paying customers “Baby Killers” over a loudspeaker. I had zero input into their employment decision. It was not needed.
