Thread by @VisionPoet

#TrashterpieceTheater #TPTEpisode11
THE BABYMAMA CHASE

aka The Bruce & The Furious

Bruce is easily one of the funniest people I know. He’s goals in a lot of ways because he’s so laid back. We all joke that’s he’s been 60 years old since he’s been 16, and it’s true.
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While the rest of us would want to be at whatever club Power99 was promoting (bc that’s where the basic jawns were), Bruce wanted nothing to do with that life. He always found himself at a bar old people frequented (they had the good drinks)
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If it wasn’t The Stinger, it was hard to convince Bruce to go anywhere else. But if I was persistent, and annoyed him enough, he’d eventually give in.
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Sometimes he’d just agree to go where we were going to get away from his baby mama. There’d be Friday nights that he was suppose to go out with her but rather hang with us, so he’d start arguments over nothing with her. #TrashterpieceTheater #TPTEpisode11

“Pork Chops again? You know I been vegan since Wednesday!!” He’d storm out and we’d be around the corner waiting for him.
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We used to ride out deep as a squad. Bruce and J Black used to always ride with me. Which was weird because they were cool, until Bruce got drunk. Then he’d wanna fight Black. It stemmed over an issue that happened at a strip club.
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Back in the day, Bruce was getting MONEY. He used to buy rounds of drinks for everyone. One night, Bruce passed out with his money on the bar, and J Black just kept buying rounds and lap dances with it. Bruce had had a drunk vendetta since.
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It came to a fever pitch this one night we were all out doing hoodrat shit. Bruce was drunk and started talking shit to Black outta nowhere. “Imma knock you smooth the fxck out!” We started cracking tf up. Black played along which pissed Bruce off more.

“Pull over P so I can knock Black tf out!”
Black was like, “Nah, Im not gon fight you when you’re drunk. We can fight tomorrow”
Bruce, ready, was like, “Ok bxtch. Tomorrow. 3 o’clock. In the school yard”
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So now we’re cracking up at the randomness of “school yard.”
Black keeps playing along, “What school yard?
“Any muthafxcking schoolyard you want nigga!”
Then he passed out.
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This one night we convinced Bruce to go to this club with us called Adrenaline. We were shocked when he was down. He told his BM where he was going, and left his car with her so she could go out.
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We went to Adrenaline. It was dry af. We left early. But we didnt wanna go home, I mean, not enough people saw our clothes.*

*Fxcknigga rules, I don’t make them.
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We were sober, and bored, so we decided to play the let out* at this hood club in North. The night was uneventful until we got to Broad and Poplar.

*Let out -- catching everyone as they’re leaving the club
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We pull up to the corner,
Black: yo, that looks like your car, Bruce
Me: Yo, that does look like Bruce’s car.
Black: that IS your car Bro.
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Wasnt an issue to see his BM in his car. The problem is it was 4 heads, and two of them were men. We pull up beside it and it’s BM, her hoe friend* and two random niggas.

*Reminder, we all have a hoe friend. If you dont, its you. This aint hoe shaming. Just hoelighting.

I honked the horn. His BM looked over and said, “OH SHIT!” She floored it. So naturally, I floored it after her. Our dumbasses are doing 80mph down Philly’s busiest street. Weaving in and other of traffic. Bruce never spoke
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Black riding shotgun talking mad shit, “Catch them niggas P! Bruce, you grab ya BM, me and P gon fuck up the niggas with them.” Bruce said nothing.
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Block after block pass. Girard, Thompson, Master. She’s driving like a maniac. My dumbass following suit. Jefferson, Oxford, ran the light at Cecil B. Moore Ave. She crosses into oncoming traffic I follow. We pass Montgomery, Norris, Diamond, Susquehanna. In and out of traffic.

She barely missed a pole passing Dauphin, and almost ran over a girl at York. We on some Fast and Furious type time. We get to Lehigh Ave and Bruce says, “P, pull over.” We like, HUH? ‘Pull over P.”
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“Bro, Imma catch her!” my stupid ass said.
“P, pull over.”
“For what, I’m gaining on her!”
He got more calm, “Pull the fuck over!”
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I pulled over at Clearfield mad af, “WTF you tell me to pull over for? I had her!”
“Bro, it’s cool!”
Black popped off like, “Fuck that! She aint gon be having nxggas in your car.”
“I said it’s cool!”
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Black was mad af. “Fuck you mean it’s cool? She outta pocket having some nig…”
Bruce interrupted him, “I don’t have control over her. She can do what she wants”
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Black pivoted, “Nah, nah. We gotta get those niggas. They gon think it’s sweet. We gotta fxck them up.”
Bruce came back, “Why? I probably fxcked plenty of nxggas girls’ before. This is part of the game. I guess it was just my turn."
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Me and Black sat there confused. Bruce sat in the back, as calm as ver. Few seconds, which felt like minutes passed and Bruce broke the silience, “Cmon yo. Let’s go to the after hours. Might be some women there for yall. And I need a drink.”
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We went… And had a fxcking ball. It was like the chase never happened. Bruce drank. Me and Black bagged basic jawns. Me, prolly licking my lips and squinting. Black, prolly standing and pertended he was bow-legged (bc that as a thing he did)
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The sun came up, and I took Bruce home. His car was parked outside.
Me: She call you?
Bruce: Nope.
Me: You care?
Bruce: Nope.
Me: You need me to come in just in case?
Bruce: Nope:
Me: What’s your plan?
Bruce: Nothing. No plan.
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“I’m not gonna believe whatever she says, so why approach her about it. What’s the use of talking to someone about them cheating if you’re not prepared to leave. It’s a waste of breath. Imma make some breakfast and go to sleep.”
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He got out of the car, and walked in the house. I stayed outside for a sec to play it safe in case something popped of. Nope. Nada. Nothing.
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They broke up the following week. Then got back together. Then broke up again. Then back. And somewhere in there they had a beautiful son. Then they broke up again, for good.
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And since that day, I learned to never ask a question when I’m not ready to
Hear the answer
Not gonna believe the answer
Not ready to walk away.
Bruce be knowing shit.
#TrashterpieceTheater #TPTEpisode11

Tomorrow's episode is extra ratchet. Noon EST.
If you don't wanna wait, the story is archived on my IG page in the highlights
(@ visionpoet)

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