Thread by @MichaelMburu_

Let's do a little exercise on attachment theory & see how our child hood upbringing affects our love style.

THREAD
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1. AVOIDANT

The avoidant is marked with their discomfort in deep connection. They don't like hugs, avoid eye contact in........

emotional situations. They tend to invest a lot during the beginning of a relationship than the end & usually escape a relationship when a deeper connection starts to form.

They make for charming short term daters and upsetting long term partners.

Hiding fear of intimacy behind smiles, humor and sarcasm.

The avoidant is created in childhood. Something happened that made them associate connection with pain.

Mostly it's physically available but emotionally unavailable parents.

E.g Tony Stark

2. ANXIOUS

The anxious fear the loss of connection. These are the psycho types that threaten self harm.

"You're my everything" 🤦🏾♂️
"I can't live without you" 😆
"I'll kill myself if you leave me" 😆

They make their partners fear their suffering. Obsessive types who......

can stalk their ex partners for years.

Their low self esteem leads them to change themselves for others, "I can be whatever you want me to be, "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you".

They tend to be very clingy.

This type is usually formed due to the early loss of a guardian.

3. FEARFUL

Unpredictable & self sabotages. If you get a hint you're dating one of this, you better run.

Bounce between the avoidant & anxious types & obsessively say things like.

"I can't believe you want me."
"Why did you choose me"
"You're going to to dump me soon" 😆

Constantly lash out at their partners for insecure reasons.

They can't seem to find a stable relationship irrespective of who they date.

This type is formed during childhood by getting exposed to excessive trauma from either physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

4. SECURE

Only type whose relationships are not driven by fear.

Very emotionally mature, rarely yell, scream or shout at people to get their points across.

They don't run away from conflict and can trust others to see them in vulnerable moments.

When it comes to working with others they don't have a one size fit all like preferring to working independent or prefer to work in a group.

The best type of all the four.

N/B Rarely can one fall solely on either and it's common to find characters who are split across the four spectrums.

Hope this helps you figure out who you are, your partner or at least answers some questions you had or may have in the future.

FIN
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