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DMa
@personunsure
, 11 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
FIVE FOR FIGHTING

a twitter thread
i celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary two months ago

i celebrated it with my wife

she is my family

she is my future

she is my world
friendship is selfish

the people we choose to spend time with

they do something for us

they make us happy

we gravitate toward one another as functions of continuous choice
friendship is a beautiful selfishness

it's a selfishness that builds, hopes, encourages, laughs, challenges, and moves in togetherness

but it is ultimately a selfishness

we find ourselves drawn to friends and we keep coming back because we benefit from it
family is different

we are locked in orbit

sometimes by choice, sometimes by blood

always by commitment
family turns a corner

marriage is the process of transitioning from friends to family

rather than a series of choices to come together, it is one choice, a vow, to come together and stay together
in that vow, a fundamental change in the relationship

it doesn't change depending on if i feel like seeing this person

we don't get lucky and spend time together. we live in the same house
in my fifth year of marriage, i realized that i've been thinking about it all wrong

i've been thinking of my spouse as a friend

i've been hoping that life would draw us together

i've been searching for a magic incantation to kindle friendship

but she is my family
in my fifth year, i re-established my success markers

success in family is found in kindness, grace, and the prosperous beauty of our children

it's found in sacrificial love

it's found in fighting for one another 7 days a week, 365 days a year, year over year
family releases me from wondering what i'm getting out of a relationship

family guides me to ask what i'm putting in

family guides me to see sacrifice and love itself as success

family teaches me to fight for those i love
five is for fighting

fighting for family

fighting for hope

fighting for presence

fighting for the people who fight for me every day
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More from @personunsure see all

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DMa
@personunsure
ACCOUNTABILITY IS MY TRIGGER WORD

a twitter thread
i started crying again last week

it's been 4 years since i last cried

but i've cried twice in the last 7 days

last night it was about accountability, because no single misappropriated concept has hurt me more
accountability is about allowing people to surround you and make sure you live up to a set of ideals you agreed to

it's when people who care about you have permission to call you on your bullshit because you believe in something
Read 14 tweets
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DMa
@personunsure
i've always been reticent to agree to creative schedules

i've always been scared to open up about my goals

i like to think i'll accomplish things on my own

but i need that encouragement and reinforcement
i've always felt that if i could just crack it once, if i could just finish one big project, i could become the kind of person who finishes things on my own
i've succumbed too many times to the myth of the independent creator. i keep hearing the story about a cabin in the woods where you wrote a whole novel. i keep dreaming of a month long sabbatical where i'll write that album
Read 10 tweets
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DMa
@personunsure
everything in transit

relationships, like all things, are constantly in motion

constantly in motion, closer together or further apart

we'll never evolve past fight or flight
fighting is such a beautiful thing

at its most basic: two people, grappling together, closer than they've ever been

it isn't easy, but at least it's clear what direction they're moving
putting hard conversations off, that's flight

facing them head on, that's fight
Read 8 tweets

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GreatGameIndia
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@allen_aptos
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