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Sam Sykes
@SamSykesSwears
, 6 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
neil gaiman came through the television to tell me that satan is Extremely Dope and now I am damned and also on the drugs and jazz music please 1 like equal 1 prayer
please help me I was sitting quietly and reading the lord's bible when neil gaiman emerged out of the warp pipe and slapped it out of my hands and put a satan's comic book in it and now I am weeping and also on the drugs and jazz as I read The Devil's Pornograph
oh god oh no I received a package from amazon and I opened it thinking it was a bible verse cross-stitch but it was neil gaiman instead and he leapt out of the box and opened the door and said "COME ON IN, FELLAS" and all the Satans came in and now they are all using my toilet
this is really getting out of hand guys
I ordered a birthday cake for my church group but when it arrived neil gaiman jumped out of it and said "have a second helping of DAMNATION" and then made me eat a dvd of good omens and it isn't even out yet and now I am going to heck
oh no someone please help I was going to the Extremely Chaste dance but when I got into the limousine it was neil gaiman driving and he said “your date tonight is SATAN” and now I am weeping and slow dancing with the devil and having Thoughts
buy my books, you gruntlings
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More from @SamSykesSwears see all

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Sam Sykes
@SamSykesSwears
if you meet an old man in a cave and he offers you a sword, definitely take it
life is about to get fuckin sweet
same if a woman in a lake gives you a sword, take that shit
she would want you to use it to fuck a dragon up
if a bleeding old dude offers you a sword and raspily implores you to avenge him and then dies, definitely do take that sword
avenging him will take like what? A month? tops? and then you have a free sword
Read 13 tweets
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Sam Sykes
@SamSykesSwears
what if the real twist is that all this time Thanos had a fatal weakness to arrows
*twang!*
“OW! FUCK! Man, that stings! Wait no don’t shoot another—“
*twang*
“ARGH! STOP! That’s really dangerous! You could put someone’s—“
*twang*
“AAAAAAAAHHHH MY EYE WHAT DID I JUST SAY”
“Thanos? What’s going on? The pizza’s here and—“
“ERIC! GET BACK IN THE HOUSE! THEY’VE GOT ARROWS!”
“Huh?”
*twang*
“AAAAAAAUUUGH! MY EYE!”
“HE GOES FOR THE EYES, ERIC! GET THE SAFETY GOGGLES!”
Read 8 tweets
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Sam Sykes
@SamSykesSwears
like tinder, except for meeting eldritch beings who will free you from your fleshy prisons and awaken you to the horrifying truths of the cosmos
meet Akh-Zinth-Lokth, the unhallowed, many-limbed serpent that dwells in the frigid moments you awaken from a nightmare
it craves worship and, in exchange, it will utter the last name of the last king to ever wield power justly to you
it also likes anime
proffer greetings and sympathies to Gorthamon the Accursed, the creature of sinew and bone who transcended mortal frailty to become the query and the verdict to the questions false gods fear to answer
he doesn’t drive so you’ll have to pick him up from work
Read 4 tweets

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Let’s review because this article also tells us the Rabbinic prophecies associated with Mashiach’s time.

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SC woman devotes life to saving sex trafficking victims
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Apparently caring about a healthy life is labeled as anti-mining and anti-jobs
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Dave Manchester
@dredeyedick
@UKAutoharps Certainly. It would be a Beethoven Piano Concerto adapted for & played on the Autoharp. or Harps.
No.3
No.1
#WHPDaily #IndivisibleTimes #AltGovDaily #AltGov #Indivisible #SVRAV
@UKAutoharps The more I look at this, the more I am convinced I was right. This is a piece for an Autoharp Quartet. 3 diatonic, 1 Chromatic. Take a look. Beethoven wrote very straight-ahead music. Easily adaptable. #AltGovDaily #AltGov #Indivisible #SVRAV #Jazz #Music
@UKAutoharps 3rd Movement of #3 - This is a piece for an Autoharp Quartet. 3 diatonic, 1 Chromatic. Beethoven wrote very straight-ahead music. Easily adaptable. A Good Arranger could easily do this. #AltGovDaily #AltGov #Indivisible #SVRAV #Jazz #Music
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