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#My1stExperienceWithAnxiety was on a trip back from King's Island when I was 3 yrs old.
I was in the back of a station wagon w/my 11 yr old uncle. My 9 yr old brother was in the seats in front.
My uncle molested me & I was too afraid to do anything but pretend to be asleep.
I was in the back of a station wagon w/my 11 yr old uncle. My 9 yr old brother was in the seats in front.
My uncle molested me & I was too afraid to do anything but pretend to be asleep.
I told everyone when we got to the house.
I said, innocently, like only a child can, "Guess what Uncle Donald did to me on the way home?" in front of his parents & mine.
SILENCE
ANXIETY
My 3 yr old self: (Did I do something wrong?)
I said, innocently, like only a child can, "Guess what Uncle Donald did to me on the way home?" in front of his parents & mine.
SILENCE
ANXIETY
My 3 yr old self: (Did I do something wrong?)
My grandmother didn't seem to grasp the reality of the situation. Maybe she didn't believe me. 💔
My parents packed immediately & prepared to leave Cincinnati, along with my innocence.
My grandmother told me I had 'UPSET' Uncle Donald & told me he had something to say to me...
My parents packed immediately & prepared to leave Cincinnati, along with my innocence.
My grandmother told me I had 'UPSET' Uncle Donald & told me he had something to say to me...
She actually made me go into his bedroom, where he was lying in bed, & told me to sit on the end of his bed.
There was no where I wanted to be less/anywhere I wanted to be more than On. His. Bed.
He jokingly apologized.
I felt something dying.
There was no where I wanted to be less/anywhere I wanted to be more than On. His. Bed.
He jokingly apologized.
I felt something dying.
My Mom & Dad were busily packing our belongings & had no idea what was going on. My brother passed the door, saw me, & instinctively led me out, his hand in mine-ever my protector; even at a tender age himself & not quite sure what had happened, he took me to Mom & Dad.
We packed into the car & hurriedly left, leaving a chunk of my innocence behind in Cincinnati, Ohio.
We never returned to my grandparents' home.
They would come & visit once a yr but it was never the same.
My Dad was filled with rage; his mother, denial.
We never returned to my grandparents' home.
They would come & visit once a yr but it was never the same.
My Dad was filled with rage; his mother, denial.
This stalemate lasted until my Grandmother's death 5 yrs later.
My father returned to Cincinnati, alone this time, to sit alongside his mother, now in a coma & so small, so frail in the hospital bed: tubes coming from everywhere. He wept. He wept for this estranged Mother,
My father returned to Cincinnati, alone this time, to sit alongside his mother, now in a coma & so small, so frail in the hospital bed: tubes coming from everywhere. He wept. He wept for this estranged Mother,
He wept for the lost 5 years he could never get back, but most of all, he wept for his 8 yr old daughter, for her loss of innocence, & for the trip to King's Island in the back of a station wagon.
@threadreaderapp Please unroll. Julie
