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No way I'm getting all the way through the #DemDebate
They ask Warren: Gee everyone's so happy, why are you such a downer? They ask Klobuchar: LOL isn't Warren full of shit? #DemDebate
So right off the bad: Fuck these assholes. #DemDebate
O'ROURKE IS SPEAKING SPANISH ALREADY? Shades of Rubio and Cruz! #DemDebate
Beto forced a follow-up question so good for him. #DemDebate
I had some BRILLIANT tweets that I didn't;t thread because I'm old and slow #DemDebate
Booker said "ag sector": 1 point. "My community": 2 points. And he got a follow-up! Halliburton AND Amazon! Say, maybe I've been selling this guy short #DemDebate
I love Liz but she's falling into Canned Answer Syndrome. #DemDebate
Castro not only did a raised-a-small-brown-boy bit, he pimped the ERA! RAWK #DemDebate
Tulsi Gabbard is ridic, and who gives a shit you're a major general or whatever, but she's relaxed and smooth and has the deepest voice. #DemDebate
To people who don't know him I bet DeBlasio sounds and looks like a small-town mayor, and that's a big plus. He's grown-up Buttgieg! And he's stump-speaking! #DemDebate
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY? He looks like John Fiedler in The Odd Couple. #DemDebate #WhoTheFuckIsJohnDelaney
CHECK JOHN DELANEY'S PUPILS #DemDebate
JAY INSLEE UNION! Increase wages! SEIU! Put people to work! Wind turbines cause jobs! Carpenters! Machinists! How do you DSA guys think of this? #DemDebate
Actually even Tim Ryan is looking good because let's face it, Trump sucks. #DemDebate
Ryan's got that Midwestern thing where he can get man and his voice rises and his face NEVER CHANGES #DemDebate
OK NOW Liz is doing a PLAN, this is her wheelhouse, and then it's Green, and it's profitable, and "made right here in the United States of America." #DemDebate
I'm even warming to Klobuchar's crooked-mouth you-dirty-rat "all foam and no beer" bit. Maybe they can nominate everybody, like that monster in The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao #DemDebate
Good for Warren, not waiting for a reaction to Medicare for All -- just getting right to the argument. And "healthcare is a basic human right." But LOOK AT THE CAMERA LIZ! #DemDebate
I met a young man in Laredo/ He's a-goin' ta die by 40/ Then he talked to a man named Beto/ And he's a-goin' to get more votes than Shorty #ThatsMayorPete #DemDebate
THAT'S RIGHT BILL FUCK SHIT UP #DemDebate
Hey, Big-Eyes is splitting the difference! Bad for Bill, I'm afraid. And bad period because he's doing the Costs Too Much thing. But here comes General Tulsi to the rescue! So far I'm pleased. #DemDebate
Castro: Reproductive justice! Trans female! Man, the stakes went up! #DemDebate
OK Immigration -- let's beat the shit out of Trump. #DemDebate
A Marshall Plan for Honduras and Guatamala! #DemDebate
Hey, I understood what Booker was saying -- was that by any chance fake Spanish? (He's right on the issues BTW, but then so are all these guys) #DemDebate
DO IT CORY SAY "ABOLISH ICE"! #DemDebate
Man, Bill's kind of an asshole, right? But that's why he thought he'd do well -- he saw Trump assholing his way to the top, and he figured he'd do it, only for goodness. #DemDebate
Man, glad I'm not running for president, I suck at Spanish #DemDebate
Castro is coming for Beto and he's not letting that Avocado Toast JFK thing fly. But Beto's hanging in! Even Klobuchar, who's a drag, is singing Lift My Lamp Beside The Golden Door. We can work these details out later. #DemDebate
Fish-Face Ryan is translating the immigration thing into Regular Guy. "What kind of country are running here?" #DemDebate
C'MON JAY SAY IT SAY "ABOLISH ICE" #DemDebate
Iran's a good chance for everyone to just beat up on Trump, so even though their are differences here, these guys are taking that opportunity and may the best Trump-basher win. #DemDebate
Alright Gabbard -- "chickenhawk" is a word I've been waiting to hear on a Democratic debate stage for YEARS #DemDebate
Klobuchar has gotten closest to saying what should be said -- that the President is a dangerous lunatic and must be separated from the nuclear codes. #DemDebate
Ha Dave Chapelle is on the commercial break for DC Statehood, fuck this is like a warm bath of my favorite positions, let's have a couple of these every week #DemDebate
Only halfway through the #DemDebate and I'm already almost through my rum ration. But if I -- HOLY SHIT MADDOW AND CHUCK TODD! Looks like I'm blowing it for the month of July.
I wonder who that Trump-sucking Judicial Crisis Network ad was meant for -- maybe the @NRO dopes who are live-tweeting this while they shit themselves in terror that one of these guys is gonna win #DemDebate
Or maybe just shit themselves.
NICE CAESAR HAIRCUT CHUCK #DemDebate
In this gun control section of the #DemDebate I like to imagine Dana Loesch doing shot after shot of vodka out of the barrel of a Luger.
Cory, I hate to tell you, but the white people get nervous when you mention that there's shooting on your "block." Honkies don't have blocks anymore, they have circles, courts, and I think dales. #DemDebate
"We're gonna have a Democratic President, a Democratic House and a Democratic Senate" From your lips to God's ears, Castro. #DemDebate
Hey, Ryan actually made a great point about bullying -- and in Regular Guy mode, too! #DemDebate
I know none of these guys has to balls to say "You don't like us taking your guns? Too fucking bad. This is life and death." But I wish they would. #DemDebate
Klobuchar I'm constitutionally unable to embrace but she does have a lot of good lines. #DemDebate
De Blasio lights up like a pinball machine on guns. NYPD! My son Dante! Driving down crime! "Stop acting like the party of elites!" #DemDebate
The most attractive thing about Warren is that she can explain her answer (how to deal with a GOP Senate) without looking like she's trying to duck the issue. #DemDebate
Inslee is a good spokesman for climate change policy because he doesn't look like a damn hippie. He's a labor man and leans on the green job thing. I hope his advice advocacy makes this more real to people. #DemDebate
The more I drink the more impatient I get. THEY THINK YOUR GREEN POLICY IS TELLING THEM HOW TO LIVE? IT'S TELLING THEM HOW N O T. T O O. D I E! #DemDebate
Ryan's hitting that elitism issue, but who would have thought De Blasio would have pre-empted that issue already? And the crowd wisely roars. And this MILES better than the weird Jim Webb rightwing-Dem version of it in 2016. #DemDebate
The problem with Amy Klobuchar is she isn't showing the confidence it would take to convince anyone her centrism would be good for black people who are outraged about being redlined, shot by cops etc. Such a response is conceivable! But she ain't doing it. #DemDebate
OH FUCK NO VIEWER QUESTIONS #DemDebate
Oh and don't give that very smart question about our foreign policy (which is kind of a time bomb too) to Beto Fucking O'Rourke. He walks it out of the danger zone, into Trump-sucks territory, but we need someone to say -- well, what De Blasio is saying. #DemDebate
Fuck, Bill, you really are showing the fire here. You other guys should pick it up! #DemDebate
Aw, Tim, you blew it. And you made Gabbard look good. #DemDebate
Inslee wins the debate. #DemDebate #GreatestThreat
It's a bad sign for Beto that he can't get a decent WOOO for impeachment. #DemDebate
The bug-eyed guy's rant about 50 counties getting all the jobs is gonna be catnips to the rightwing "crony capitalism" assholes. Fortunately I don't think most people are gonna remember his name any better than I do. #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENTS! #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT DELANEY: I am passionate about wimpy centrist bullshit. #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT DE BLASIO: YOU HEARD ME SAY SOME SMART THINGS, NOW I'M GONNA YELL! WORKING PEOPLE FIRST! #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT INSLEE: I'm running like some old guys climb Mt. Everest, for the legacy. But I'm right! [Ed: And he is!] #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT RYAN: I am the J.D. Vance Only Not a Fascist candidate. Vote for me for Vice President. #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT GABBARD: I'm the smart, weird candidate, why vote for a Green in the general and ruin everything when you can vote for me in a primary? #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT CASTRO: I'm Spanish and I'm smart, not a bad package, si? #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT KLOBUCHAR: If you're not really a Democrat, I'm your candidate. #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT BOOKER: I am BARELY RESTRAINED in my mixed anti- and pro-establishment impulses, but I'm doing it, and if you relate to that, come with me! #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT O'ROURKE: You don't remember Gary Hart? Good. #DemDebate
CLOSING STATEMENT WARREN: You know my shtick: Plans, Smartness, Oklahoma. If you're a sexist asshole I have nothing for you. Now let's roll. #DemDebate
