Thread by @Delafina777

The fact that the bar for men in games being "a good guy" basically boils down to "isn't a harasser/rapist/abuser and isn't actively covering for one" is so telling.

Let's get real:

Women/NBs are out here desperately trying to remember all the people we've been warned about in hallways and bathrooms and focus rooms because we can't talk publicly about them, and desperately trying to parse when men are friendly to us or help us.

Meanwhile...

...you HEAR what the other men you work with say about women they work with, women at cons, how they talk about women in general.

Yet you're not warning us.

I've had women/enbies pull me aside SO many times and offer precious crumbs of knowledge, feelings, hey, just don't be alone with him, be careful of him when he drinks, make sure you document everything he says in meetings.

You know what's happened ZERO times in my career?

A man pulling me aside and saying, "hey, I was out drinking with a bunch of coworkers last night, and I just wanted to give you a heads up, the way so-and-so was talking about his female colleagues was pretty disrespectful/objectifying/contemptuous/sexist. Be careful."

Like, I know y'all have been in social situations with other industry men where some of them have said deeply unprofessional shit about women which, had you stopped to consider it, was probably an indication that they're not treating the women they work with as equals.

Or, y'know, worse. But that alone is enough. It stifles careers. It drives people out of the industry.

I KNOW you've heard it.

And almost 100% of you have done, and continue to do, nothing. Not even a warning. You protect them.

We're all out here praising you for being willing to not work with a rapist/serial harasser/career destroyer after his victims have blown up their lives to expose him, for saying "I believe you" to victims, for writing blog entries in which you say yeah, diversity's important.

like the bar is on the fucking FLOOR for being a Good Guy in this industry because we know that's all we can expect from you, and half of you STILL can't clear it

The risk to you to warn people when your broworkers are saying shit when you're drinking together that indicates that they're stifling women's careers at LEAST, and probably harassing, is so fucking minimal but heaven forbid that you should actually ever do anything PROACTIVE.

Let alone show ANY sort of moral fiber and express your disgust to the guys that are doing it, report it, walk out, talk about it publicly where people can see it and be warned.

You're better positioned to catch warning signals BEFORE other men wreck women's/enbies' careers, and far more insulated from serious consequences, yet you do nothing.

I am so fucking sick of all the male ethical weaklings in this industry.

I am sick of weak men in power, puling and quivering at the idea of having to face up to the toxic environments they enable.

And just as sick of the armies of weak men who aren't executives or managers unwilling to say ANYTHING to abusive, harassing coworkers because if they do they might not get invited out drinking next time, and COMPLETELY unwilling to call out men in power.

But here, have a fucking cookie for taking a slot on a panel to say that yes, the industry maybe has a sexism problem.